


Eddy, Kanamori, Yukari, and the Incredibly Ridiculous War

by ZettonLives



Category: Azumanga Daioh, Ed Edd n Eddy, 映像研には手を出すな! | Eizouken ni wa Te wo Dasu na! | Keep Your Hands off Eizoken! (Anime)
Genre: Comedy, Crack Crossover, Crossover, Eventual Smut, F/F, F/M, Gets a little serious later, High Schools going at each-other from universes across, Monsters, More Pairings Soon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-20
Updated: 2020-08-10
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:35:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 28,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23188603
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZettonLives/pseuds/ZettonLives
Summary: (Takes place before the finales of these series. Also, characters in any suggestive situations are of legal age, don't worry)It all started when a bunch of portals opened up in three different universes. What should have been a diplomatic meeting between our favorite characters has turned into a competition against each-other for the sake of a mystical artifact. One that escalates into an utterly farcical yet amazing "war".Eddy just wants to keep his new "empire" that his money-bringing artifact has given him. Kanamori is intent on keeping the Eizouken alive, as well as raking in any potential profits. Yukari has her school (and pride) to protect. And a mysterious wizard playing all three sides just wants a little chaos. And that's BEFORE the monsters arrived...Remember! Your feedback matters. Enjoy!
Relationships: Chihiro/Kaorin (Azumanga Daioh), Ed/Sakaki, Edd/Doumeki Parker, Eddy/Kanamori Sayaka, Kurosawa "Nyamo" Minamo/Tanizaki Yukari/Original Character(s), Mizuhara "Yomi" Koyomi/Takino Tomo
Kudos: 1





	1. The Crown of Discord

_**Peach Creek...** _

Nobody really knows where this one location is. To many, it's just a speck on the map. To those residing in the cul-de-sac that takes up, at least, 40% of the area, it's the entire world. The only one they've ever known for a good while. Life's pretty normal around these parts, barring the seeming lack of parental supervision. To most, that would be a dream come true. A place of total freedom...

SMASH!

You'd also be super wrong. It just meant people like Eddy could run around and continue to try and milk money out of the gullible masses. Alas, this was one of those days in which the neighborhood folks wizened up to his tricks and summarily beat the tar out of him and his cohorts. Currently, they were lying in one of the many alleyways in a broken heap. 

"Gentlemen..." Edd (or Double D, as all would call him) groaned as he pulled himself out of the pile, making sure his torn-up hat was still covering his head up. "I hope it has come to your knowledge that selling clearly rabid hedgehogs as pets and calling them 'Berserker Buddies' was a sub-optimal plan."

"Stuff it, sockhead!" Eddy snapped his shoulder back into place, clearly annoyed. "Besides, Ed liked it enough."

The tallest, strongest, and dumbest of the trio, Ed, stood shakily, several quills all over himself. "They're so ticklish, the little rascals!"

Edd wasn't having any of it, dusting himself off before slumping against the tall fence to the side. "It almost feels as if we've been cursed to a never-ending loop after we met some kind of grisly end. This is our punishment. To forever endure the torments of-"

"Didn't I tell you to shut up, Dante? We're not dead. We just need to try a little harder." Eddy crossed his arms, not even caring if there were some quills lodged in his back. 

"I'm...surprised you even know who Dante is." Edd admitted before turning to Ed. "Goodness gracious! Pardon me, but those mammals left nothing to chance with your back area!" He set about to removing the quills while Ed played around with his tongue, not a care in the world.

Truth was, however, Eddy was far from happy. This opportunity for some quarters stung especially because only a select handful of those living here came for his usual scam (Johnny and Jimmy, with an unexpected and very painful interruption by Sarah). For Spring Break was coming to an end and they'd soon have to get back to the usual daily grind of Peach Creek High. A whole long weekend and nothing to show for it. The short one's philosophy listed this as an utter failure. One he'd be stewing over until the next big break.

"Trouble with your friends, I presume?" A suave male voice interrupted them, just as Edd was about to remove the final quill from Ed. "I'm surprised they keep falling for the same tricks."

"Who said that?" The short one quickly turned to everywhere he could. 

"What if your intelligent friend has a point? It's time for a change in pace." The voice spoke again.

Now, Edd and Ed were aware that the three weren't the only ones here. "I do believe that we should take our leave. Remember what mother said about talking to strangers."

"But that's how my dad and my mom met!" Ed exclaimed. "Right behind a dumpster, too."

"That...explains a frightening amount." Edd admitted before a shadow fell over them. 

The trio looked up before a figure landed gracefully on pointed shoes in front of them. Draped around his lanky tall figure was a cape with many B-Movie posters stitched onto it, covering most of his body. Covering his hooded head was a top hat with tinier posters around it like an amateur's patchwork quilt. He had a pair of shiny glasses, which was the only thing they could see of his face, as well as a pointed nose. "Introductions are in order, are they not?"

The Eds stared at the mysterious stranger before Eddy threw up his arms. "Whatever! Make it quick. We're not in the mood to handle weirdos right now."

The man just bowed, still with the cloaked wrapped around him. "Why, I'm hurt! I am a friend. A very resourceful friend who's merely out and about to help wayward souls with their troubles."

Ed suddenly surged forward, invested in the man's strange outfit. "Oooh! I know that movie! And that one! And that one! Maybe not that one. OH! That one, too! Can I have those clothes?"

The man just chuckled. "Apologies, but this is custom made. A fitting one, considering my expertise. I...am the Wizard of Wonder, though my friends call me **W**." 

"I see. I think we should take our leave." Edd whispered to the others. 

"Yeah, I don't like the cut of his jib. He's screaming 'suspicious creep' all over him." Eddy agreed. "Catch you later, weirdo! We've got the big bucks to make!"

"And how would your react if I were to give you the 'big bucks'?" **W** asked. 

That stopped Eddy dead in his tracks. Twisting back with an audible creaking noise, he allowed the strange being to lean in. "...lay it on me."

"You can't be serious! Eddy, are you that much of a one-track intellect that you'd allow your base instincts to take over after sensibility wins out for even the smallest of moments?!" Edd exclaimed. 

"Ed, hug him." Eddy instructed.

"Okey dokey!" The stupid one saluted before wrapping his loving arms around Edd, covering his mouth in the process as he tried to squirm free. 

"Splendid! I promise that, in the next minute, you shall be the richest man in the history of this one location!" **W** explained, taking a book out of his cloak with a gloved hand with clawed fingers. That book looked like it was made of human skin, complete with the stitched glowing magenta. "My magic will see to that."

Just that one word (magic, mind you) was enough to make Edd pull away at least one of Ed's arms so he could speak. "MAGIC?! Preposterous! Now, I know we have met a certified con-artist that's in serious need of more protein in his diet!"

"Just let me have this, sockhead. I'm having a bad day as it is. But, you know, what's in it for you?" Eddy raised a brow at the stranger. "Don't get me wrong. If you can set me up for life, I'm sold. But I remember the last time somebody tried to fleece me. Almost destroyed that jerk's house along the way."

 **W** summoned a scroll and pen, surprising the trio. "All I want is to show my amazing powers and use them for your betterment. There is no catch. Just that you have to agree that you'll most likely have to match wits with two other schools from far away. To show that I am not lying..." He snapped his fingers, causing a wad of cash to fall into Eddy's hands. 

The greedy one felt the gears turn in his head before his eyes turned to dollar signs and his grin became almost too much for his face to handle. "YES! I'm rich! At last, I catch a break! Alright! Consider it a deal! I don't care what I have to do! Just work that magic and make me a gazillionaire!" 

"Make a bunny come out of your hat! Pleeease?" Ed pleaded, amazed by the magic on display.

"No, it can't be...it's nothing but cheap theatrics!" Edd tried to rationalize how the man was able to make the money like that, but it was too late. Eddy had already signed the scroll.

"Marvelous!" **W** exclaimed again before floating up. "Be warned. There is a price to this." A golden crown with 6 sharpened points and a yellow gem in the center materialized on Eddy's head, making him chuckle in appreciation. "Do you see that? That's the Crown of Affluence. So long as it stays in this universe, you shall never go poor again. Lose it to another universe and our deal is off."

Eddy just scoffed. "When's that gonna happen? I'm about ready to live the good life! Right, boys?" He turned to the other two. Ed was nodding vigorously, but Edd looked ready to collapse. "What's up with you?"

"This...none of this makes sense...magic...other universes...YOU! Explain yourself!" He pointed at **W** , who suddenly opened a portal behind him.

"Take my advice! Go to the woods and find a portal. It won't be hard to miss. Investigate the world there and you shall have an idea of those that would take your boon away from you. Apart from that, enjoy! We shall meet again..." With that, the wizard fled into his portal, leaving the trio with their crown. At least, until the man's head appeared out of a random portal. "Oh, and don't mention that I told you this or the crown will melt into hot slag. Magical policy. Please don't be mad." He exited again, for good this time.

Despite that warning, Eddy continued to snicker as three quarters materialized in his hand. "Boys...wanna go hit up the candy store?"

"Hooray! Happy ending!" Ed said, ready to close the fanfic right here and now.

"WAIT! Ignoring the utter insanity I just witnessed, you heard the tone in that man!" Edd was rapidly losing his mind deep inside, but, if only to give himself clarity, he played along. "The woods. He said danger lurked there and it would be imperative if we investigated. After all, if what you have on your head IS magical, which I am convinced it isn't and I will do everything within my power to prove so, it will no doubt attract all manner of danger."

Eddy was going to argue, but he actually considered something. It would be no problem at all if any of the Cul-De-Sac folk around here stole his crown. Apparently, if it stayed around town, he'd have no fear of losing his power. If anything from any other universe (whatever that meant to him) tried to take it..."Ugh. Nothing comes for free, anyway. Come on. Let's get this over with."

Ed, however, suddenly lifted the two onto his shoulders. "Other universes? Do you know what this means?"

"Your grasp on anything of the sort is weak, I can tell, but go on." Edd said. 

"I saw this in a movie. About a brave group of explorers going into new realms of terror and excitement! I think...we're going on an adventure! Yoiks and AWAAAAY!" Ed zoomed into the distance, his buddies hanging on for dear life. It would only be a matter of time before they would realize just how in over their heads they were.

_**Meanwhile in Shibihama High...** _

Kanamori cracked her right knuckle as she would usually do when either planning something or, in this case, incredibly bored. Granted, the Eizouken that her best friend had been coming up with was always something to keep her on her toes, but today was one of those days where she could just kick back and relax. Almost made her want to go to sleep, but she knew better than to tempt fate and have her hyperactive friends wake her up and render her a grumpier mess.

She had just recovered from getting sick and production for the second anime short had been going well. Despite the snags that came with Asakusa's imagination and Mizusaki's requests when it came to the motion and (as of recently) how in sync the music was, the deadline was looking to be less of an obstacle and more of a day to look forward to. Surely, the profits that would come with this would be more satisfying than the last one, right?

"I dunno about something." Asakusa said as she loomed over Mizusaki as she diligently worked on the digital aspect of the drawing process. "I've been thinking if the Kappas should look more cartoony or like monsters."

"Isn't this about the humans and Kappas realizing they're not so scary after all?" The model/animator asked. 

"I knoooow, but the Art Club recently brought up about how we always make these 'good monsters' look all adorable in some capacity. Something about an 'inner sense of vanity' we designers have." She just shrugged at that while Mizusaki pondered that thought.

' _Good._ ' Kanamori thought as she marked on the board another hour without them going off on their own little flights of fancy again and/or complicating this than it already had to be. The past few days may have been productive, but having to reign in Asakusa everytime she had a new idea had proven to be its own special form of headache. Annoying, but there would be some good at the end. 

Suddenly, the doors burst open. Mercifully, it wasn't the School Council once again trying to get another crack at them because of budget reasons or the like. It was their dutiful sound designer, Parker Doumeki, but it looked like she had seen a ghost. "Lock your doors! Board up the windows! And don't call me crazy when I explain the whole thing!" 

"Eh?! Are we under attack?!" Asakusa was the first to zoom up to the boyish sorta-blonde. 

"This had better be good." Kanamori groaned. Normally, Doumeki was one of the more level-headed members, only eccentric when it came to sound-hunting or sound effects in general, but that look in her eyes showed that whatever she saw must have been serious.

Doumeki took in a few breaths before the doors started to creak open. "It's the ghost!" She pointed, causing Asakusa to go white as a sheet and get out her stuffed rabbit for protection.

"Can you not? You're scaring her." Mizusaki reprimanded before the doors finally opened, revealing the floating figure we all saw one transition ago. Now, THAT froze the four in their tracks.

"Pleasedonteatmysoulpleasedonteatmysoulpleasedonteatmysoul..." Asakusa kept stammering as she hid behind Kanamori, whom continued to look unimpressed.

 **W** tipped his hat and bowed. "Salutations, girls! I am no ghost, nor am I your foe. I am the Wizard of Wonder, but you can just call me **W**. And I just want to say that I am a great fan of your work. That one with the mecha and the crab-pistol shrimp hybrid? Good stuff."

"If you're here for an autograph, pay up. It'll cost you about...2000 yen. You seem rich enough for that." Kanamori said before he suddenly teleported behind her.

"Do not take me for a mere patron. I am also here to bring you a dire warning." He raised a bony finger before pointing at the four. "Are you aware of other universes?"

Asakusa's imagination was racing once more, turning the studio into the place of a mystical shrine, with this very-much real wizard in the center of it. She and her friends were merely travelers beseeching this being. "Kinda! But that depends. Are we talking about alternate realities or-"

"I speak of the means to protect the Eizouken and, by extension, your ultimate world from total collapse!" **W** conjured up images of the various ideas they all had before he shattered them when he closed his fist. "If you do not listen, the Eizouken is doomed to fail and all of you shall be forgotten to the passage of time."

"WHAAAA?!" Both Asakusa and Mizusaki cried out, hugging each-other in terror.

"But that's impossible! We put so much blood, sweat, and tears into this!" The model exclaimed. 

"How are you doing this anyway?!" Doumeki was looking around, hearing entirely new sounds that were heard like a mixture between TV static and the gonging of a bell. Apart from that, they were beyond the mere perceptions of humans. Almost eldritch in their wavelengths. "And can you stand still for a minute without making any noise?! I need to record this!"

"There is no time!" The wizard commanded before staring Kanamori in the face. "You care for the money that goes into your project? Do you wish for this to not become like a certain convenience store?"

That actually managed to get a reaction out of her, as her eye began to twitch. "How the hell do you know about that?" She demanded.

"I know everything. I know that this means everything to you all, regardless of motive. What I mean to say is that your anime will lose its funds, no matter where you turn to, and this will all be for nothing. But...there is a way to solve this." **W** showed the image of the Crown of Affluence in his hand. "This...is the Crown of Affluence. So long as it remains in your universe, it shall ensure you never lose an opportunity for funding. It will be literally around the corner."

"Ooooh! And we have to go on a quest to find it?" On one hand, Asakusa was freaking out inside on the possibility of losing everything this Eizouken stood for. On the other hand, an adventure was always something she looked forward to. An actual REAL magical adventure? Perhaps she was dreaming and she didn't know it. Even Mizusaki and Doumeki were leaning into her, interested in this prospect.

"I have a better question." Kanamori interrupted, narrowing her eyes at the mysterious man. "Do you really think we're that stupid to believe some fortune-teller wannabe? That fate will decide whether we go broke or not? To cast aside the facts and focus entirely on fairy tales to decide your financial future is completely-"

Suddenly, he extended a hand and pressed it against her forehead, assaulting her mind with images of the money going dry, people they needed/liked leaving Shibihama forever, the studio falling to pieces, and the group going their bitter separate ways. She fell back onto the sofa, clutching her head as those images faded into memory that wouldn't go away anytime soon. "Do you think I'm jesting NOW?" 

As the others rushed to comfort their tall friend, Kanamori just sighed. "...fine. Magic's real. Case closed. We find the crown, we're allowed to get careless."

"I just said it would bring opportunity. Nothing guaranteed, but a good way to find resources. Trust me. I don't really know how all of this works. I've only been alive for hundreds of years focusing my efforts on...nevermind. Either way, the thing you must do now is wait patiently. The crown will come to you. You just have to make sure it doesn't get away from your grasp. Should you fail to acquire it, have no fear. I will be there to provide additional support." **W** instructed.

Asakusa, forgetting her fear of the ghostly man, stepped forth and gave a whistle. "Everybody! Group huddle!" They did so, though they had to lean down for her sake. "We have at least 40 days until the deadline. We can handle taking an hour or two to get this thing, okay?"

"Yeah! With Kanamori on our side, getting it will be a breeze!" Mizusaki beamed. 

"I dunno. Something about this guy seems...shady." Doumeki looked over her shoulder. "And why does he have American B-movies stitched to him?"

"Not gonna lie. His fashion choice is a bit...weird. But I like weird!" The model replied.

Kanamori, the more pragmatic one, leaned in more. "The way I see it, we're not to break away from our work. But, the moment we see if this crown nonsense is true, concentrate our efforts to acquiring it. No hesitation. No regrets. No mercy. Because I have a feeling this isn't as easy as we think."

"Nothing's ever easy unless you set your mind to it!" Asakusa stood proudly, the world of Eizouken rising above her like the dawn of day. "Our world is our responsibility!" She raised a finger to the sky. "To allow it to fall into ruin would be the same as inviting death to ourselves! Crown or not, we will be victorious! We ARE the Eizouken! And we are-"

"Portal's opening. Crown on its way. Might want to get to that. Cheers and good luck! And don't mention my name, or I'll curse you all into failing anyway. Magical policy. Don't be mad." **W** waved before swirling into a portal of his own, heading off to one final destination. 

That left the four of them in one place, standing around like a bunch of knuckleheads. "...wait, what?" Asakusa softly asked.

_**Fifteen minutes earlier in a High School in Tokyo...**_

Yes, this is in one last other universe. No, we have no idea what school is named. What we can tell you that it was Class #3's third-year here and they were intent on keeping it lively as per the usual...intentionally or not. Naturally, things may have gotten out of hand, as they usually do. Case in point...

Chiyo and Osaka ran for their lives through the halls as a cicada innocently flew behind them, making its usual horrible noise along the way. That wasn't so much the problem (although it did look rather big for its kind). It was Yomi trying to crush it with an entire desk with her eyes closed in utter fear while screaming "KillitkillitkillitKILLITKILLITKILLIT..." Over and over again. Every time she slammed the desk down, it left an impact crater that trailed back all the way to class.

"Calm down, Miss Yomi! It's only a harmless bug!" Chiyo pleaded as the crowd of students parted as fast as they could.

"Yeah! Chiyo's not all that intimidatin'." Osaka replied.

"Hey, what's that supposed to mean?" The prodigy asked before the desk got thrown at the insect, to which both it and they dodged as it lodged itself into the wall. Yomi paused for a moment, panting before just heading into another classroom and grabbing another desk.

"Aw, phooey. We should have just gotten out of the way in that time." Osaka sighed. To add insult to injury, the cicada landed on a terrified Chiyo's head, making its brand of noise again before the chase began anew. 

Back at the classroom, Tomo was laughing herself sick while Yukari stared daggers into her. "You finally got her this time. I hope you're proud of yourself for disrupting the quiz in the process." Yukari grumbled with barely contained anger. 

"Aw, don't bring in the buzzkill, Miss Yukari! Get it?! Buzzkill?!" With that, she continued to laugh, with Kagura wishing she had a video camera for Yomi's sheer level of panic.

Sakaki, however, was standing up, ready to defend her Chiyo-Chan from whatever pain the usually composed smart girl would unintentionally bring. "Aw, don't worry about it, Sakaki." Kagura assured. "Give it a few minutes and she'll come back to reality."

"I guess." Sakaki sighed. "I just wish I could have been there when Yomi snapped. That way, nobody would get hurt."

Kaorin felt tears of joy well up in her eyes as she looked up at her crush. "You're so kind and brave, Sakaki...the days in which you've protected me, I'll cherish forever..."

"Maybe next time, you'll be more on the ball so stupidity like this doesn't get by!" Yukari gritted her teeth before attempting to compose herself. "Okay, while I still have a grip on my sanity, let's continue and hope to whatever sadistic god is up there that things resume as normal as soon as possible."

"Shoot for the stars. That'll never happen as long as I'm around!" Tomo said proudly before the cicada from before entered the class room again, landing on Tomo's desk and looking up at her almost tauntingly. It took her a second to realize what this meant as the shadow of a desk loomed over her. "Wait...HOLD ON!"

 _'Karma's a bitch, ain't it?'_ Yukari admitted in her head before, suddenly, a portal emerged from the top of the class, surprising everyone and causing Yomi to finally open her eyes. The cicada flew into the portal, only to be vaporized by its intensity. Floating downwards came **W** himself, settling down right next to Yukari. When the portal cleared and the being looked at their shocked reactions, the language teacher just flopped onto her desk. "Yep. There goes my grip. I'm already insane. Which size straight-jacket will fit me, sir?"

Tomo was the second to break the silence. "Whoaaaa! Do that again!" She was interrupted when Yomi accidentally dropped the desk she was carrying in her shock, smashing it against her hand. She bit her lip and held back the tears as she sucked on her entire hand, feeling pain unimaginable.

Chiyo and Osaka, whom were at the door, entered slowly, far more willing to enter this brand of craziness than whatever got into Yomi. Sakaki instantly stood in front of her classmates, especially the littlest ones, unsure about this stranger,with Kaorin clutching her leg and shivering like crazy. "Greetings!" The stranger tipped his hat. "I am the Wizard of Wonder, but you may call me **W**. And I've come to bring you a dire warning! You all like this school, don't you?" 

"Um...yes?" Chiyo peeped. "It's where we all met, sir."

"Yes! Yes, we do! Don't hurt us!" Kaorin yelled before sucking it up. "Or Sakaki here will hurt you!" The taller girl said nothing but she gave a nervous nod in response. 

"Back up! Now that I'm no longer doing...whatever it was I was doing with a desk..." Yomi looked rather sheepish and confused at same time before adjusting her classes. "How did you do that?!"

"Magic." **W** snickered. "Seems I have to explain that every time."

"Well, duh! You can't just, like, poof in here and start talking about doom and gloom!" Kagura pointed out.

"If it's not too much to ask, can you teleport all the way to Maine, U.S?" Osaka asked gently. "I wanna see if they really do worship lobsters all the way there. I heard about it on the internet once."

"First off, we talked about this. Snopes isn't a legit news site." Yukari rubbed her temples. "Secondly, just lay it on why you had to come in here with all the theatrics and crap."

"I suppose I'll get straight to the point." The wizard cleared his throat. "Soon enough, you'll be under attack by a group of people about your age that have in possession a crown that ensures total wealth for anybody who wears it. What the current wearer plans to do is destroy your school and turn it into a jawbreaker factory with all of you as his slaves. There is another party that plans to create an anime that will drain your school dry of resources, reducing it to a hollow shell of its former self! The only way to stop them is to defend yourselves and stop them for good by taking that crown, with me as your ally."

The group took in that info dump with varied results. "Are you saying we're going to be under attack?" Sakaki asked, to which he nodded. 

"And what proof do you have?" Yomi put her hands on her hips. "Or are you just a panic-monger that knows a few stage tricks and with some wild stories up your sleeve?"

"I say I believe him! He's obviously got super magical powers. Just look at his outfit and that weird swirly thingy above him." She pointed to the portal that was opening up over him, signifying how he was **about** to leave any time now. "Who's with me?" Osaka raised her hand, though the others were still hesitant.

"Do I detect doubt among you all? Have no fear. Your proof shall come to you sooner than you think." **W** then swiveled to Yukari. "Also, your enemies called you an old drunken hag whom will most likely die alone. Ta-ta! And remember not to mention my name or your school will burn with all of you in it." With that, he left. 

The whole class was still left stunned, but their teacher was just slowly taking in those last few words. "So...who's ready to go Yokai hunting? Because I'm ready to believe anything now." Kagura sighed.

"Or we could just all agree that someone slipped something into our lunches before today." Yomi shook her head, still gripping to her reality where nothing including the word 'magic' existed. "Right, Tomo?"

"Hey, the cicada thing I'll gladly take the credit for. Messing up with our lunches? That was last month! And since when was I a one-trick pony?" The self-proclaimed wildcat of the school reprimanded her friend before everybody noticed that Yukari now looked ready to erupt, steam coming out of her ears and her skin turning volcanic red. "That...doesn't look good."

"Everybody, hold onto something!" Chiyo shouted, prompting everybody to cling to Sakaki, Yomi, and Kagura in some fashion. 

"Hey! I was here first!" Kaorin yelled at those crowding around her smaller body.

Back outside the school, the windows nearly shattered with the resulting soundwave from the yelling. "DRUNKEN OLD HAG?!?! Whoever these guys are, I'll string 'em up and then-" The following could not be revealed for just how vulgar and long it was. Either way, **W** stood outside, chuckling to himself. 

"I can't believe I once walked among humans at some point. They're so gullible." He opened another portal, eager on following the first group he visited. "Let the party begin..."

* * *

_**Up Next:**_ The Eds and the Eizouken group square off, leading to a chase that leads to destruction at Yukari's school! It can only go downhill (or uphill, really) from there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As feedback is important, I want to make sure I managed to nail all of these characters down. This is, indeed, a rather ambitious crossover of mine. I'm also aware that Eizouken, as of this writing, is ending soon. Don't worry. This takes place before then. 
> 
> As for why the Wizard has those posters affixed to his outfit, they factor in later. Bet on it...
> 
> UPDATE-3/22/20: Changed the pairing with Ed. It just made more sense that way. Just a head's up.


	2. Of Course, you realize...

_**Earlier near the Eizouken "base"...** _

From the portal right behind the derelict shed that the Eizouken resided in, the Eds had arrived. Naturally, the trio of goofballs were expecting some alien world or something along the lines of that, but all they saw were grassy fields and a run-down group of sheds. "This is it, fellows..." Edd took a deep breath. "We are perhaps the first people of our world to travel to an alternate dimension! Think of what this could mean for the validation of multiverse theory or-"

"Somebody take the quarter out of you. We have a job to handle!" Eddy snapped his fingers in front of the smart one before looking around and noticing that this whole area was surrounded by ocean water. "Okay. What do we have here? A little island full of suckers." It was then he noticed that the signs that were decked around the distant Shibahama area. "Wait a sec. Are we in Japan or something?"

"It seems about right. Perhaps that last scam of yours involving sumo wrestlers might have bore fruit here." Edd said as they walked around. 

Ed, however, looked absolutely giddy when he heard that. "JAPAN! The birthplace of my legendary hero, GODZILLA!" For emphasis, he let out a badly done version of the kaiju's roar before Eddy slapped his lip shut.

"Yeah, yeah, we can do some sightseeing later. Keep screwing around and we'll end up in China next." The short one commanded.

"But Eddy! This architecture...it's non-Euclidean, perhaps?" Edd peered as the landscape, which looked like what would happen if you mashed a bunch of metropolitan, traditional, and other elements together. If he knew about the underground area...

"Architecture, shmarchetecture." Eddy clutched his crown tightly to his chest. "That **W** guy said that we'd find a few troublemakers here. People that would take away MY property." A grin formed when he placed the crown on his head. "Maybe I'll wow them with my new powers and THEN we'll see if they're tough enough to-"

Edd slapped his forehead. "With all due respect, don't you think you're blowing this out of proportion. What's happening right now is fantastic, but hardly the time to draw attention to yourself. Not to mention, you heard how this crown doesn't work in other universes." His expression darkened. "I'm still trying to comprehend how something so preposterous could lend such incredible power."

"Whine, whine, whine. But...then again..." Eddy suddenly had a thought. If this is where his enemies lived and they happened to find him with zero defenses-

"Hey! You three!" A deep female voice caused all of them (including a blissfully distracted Ed) to turn to the entrance of the closest building (the one with a big logo on it, that is). Kanamori had stepped outside just to see what the commotion was all about. She didn't expect these weirdos, nor the giant portal that suddenly closed behind the trio. She raised a brow at this absurdity until she noticed the crown. "Huh. So, that thing does exist."

Edd saw it fit to break the ice, despite how intimidating this girl was. She stood perhaps taller than even Rolf! Not to mention, that flat un-amused expression with those teeth was putting him off. "G-g-greetings, ma'am! It is my personal honor to be one of the first of my world to step foot upon this land." He extended a hand, which she didn't take.

"Uh-huh. Don't think I didn't notice that giant portal you walked out of." She stated before pointing at Eddy. "You. Hand over the crown. Make it easy on all of us."

He just scoffed. "As if, tombstone-teeth! I got this little number fair and square. It was handed down to me by an important dynasty." He paused for dramatic effect as he proudly raised the crown before clutching it back. "We're only here to give you a fair warning. You make ONE move on me and I'll personally make sure you won't eat lunch in this town again!"

"Is that a fact?" Kanamori started cracking her right fingers, unerving the trio. "That thing you got there? We're actually gonna use it for some actual use. Right, Asakusa? Get on out here." The other three Eizouken members exited the building, with the shortest one clutching her security rabbit due to meeting new people, as per usual.

"Yes." Asakusa said, almost robotically. "We're going to make an anime and you can't do anything about it. Maybe you could wait and buy a DVD later? Or come to Comet A?"

Ed was instantly hooked, as he surged forth in front of Eddy. "You make cartoons? Ooh! Is it like Captain Chicken? Or maybe Super-Cow? Or my favorite, CN Real: The True Horrifying Story?" The more Ed leaned in, the more Asakusa sunk into the ground. 

"It's not like that!" She suddenly shouted before meekly moving back behind Kanamori. "It's a little different."

"But it's great that you're showing an inter...YECH!" Mizusaki, despite being the nicest out of the bunch, had accidentally gotten a whiff of what was under that jacket of his.

Doumeki plugged her nose when she got much of the same. "Gack! Somebody give this guy a bath!"

"Or, better yet..." Kanamori grabbed him by the jacket and flung him back at Eddy, causing him to lose grip on the crown as he was propelled into a tree.

Mizusaki winced. "Are you okay?" Eddy just gave an annoyed groan in response. She turned to Asakusa, who had calmed with the lack of their presence. "Something about the way they look and move...kind of reminds me of western animation. No wonder calling our work 'cartoons' came to them first."

"Noted." The smallest one agreed before Edd stepped in. 

"I humbly apologize for the actions of my friends, but I can't deny that, by default, that crown is Eddy's property. Why don't we drop any ideas about taking things away from each-other and instead establish a peaceful relationship?" He asked.

"Anything to keep this from escalating. I'd rather get back to work." Doumeki said. "But, if it's not too much to ask, is there a portal back to your world? I can just tell that the sounds that were made when your friends hit that tree weren't normal. Like...like a donkey and a chicken getting in a rut. Don't have a sound file for that..."

"By all means." Edd shook her hand, surprising the dark-skinned one. "Sorry. Force of habit. My name is Eddward. Pleasure to meet all of you."

"Pleasure to say goodbye right now." Kanamori walked past them, swinging the crown with just one finger. "Run off. We've got business to attend to." She looked at the crown more closely. "Gimme a second...1000 yen." She said randomly before a bundle showed up in her hand, as well as a flier for an 1000 yen prize competition for ramen making. A huge grin grew on her face as she waved it at her awed co-workers. "Goodbye, possible bankruptcy. Hello, never-ending opportunity."

"That was incredible! We could do a million projects with this!" Mizusaki exclaimed with stars in her eyes. 

"Or we could use it to get the Student Council off my case!" Doumeki added.

Asakusa, however, wasn't so sure. "I dunno. What if all that yen is counterfeit? And what if we don't win that contest?" As if accepting that challenge, another flier showed up, landing on her head.

Kanamori chuckled as she continued to swing the crown around. "Almost feels too good to be true." Once again, fate didn't take too kindly to being taunted, so she didn't see Ed's extended tongue coming when it nabbed it away from her. 

The crown landed back in Eddy's hands as he stood atop his taller friend. "That's because it's MY thing that's too good to be true. Go get your own 'Get-Rich-Quick' item!"

Mizusaki stepped forward. "Please! If you don't let us use it for just a little while, the Eizouken will die!"

"Eizou-wha?" Eddy raised a brow before blowing her off. "Nah, whatever."

Asakusa stepped forth, a bit braver now. "You heard her! You're sentencing the best world to an early grave! How could you be so selfish?!"

Edd had to think fast, thinking of all the ways he could de-escalate the situation. "Um...look! A portal! Let's go explore it together instead of pointless conflict!" He pointed to a portal in the distance, right near Shibahama High and near the railing. It looked like it was already grabbing attention from the local residents, with some even throwing objects into it to see what would happen. 

Kanamori stomped forward, causing a tremor that silenced everyone. "If you don't hand over that thing...I guess I'm gonna have to get physical. Nobody has to know what happened here and nobody will care..."

Even Eddy was intimidated by this display, gulping loudly before straddling Ed's neck like he was a horse. "Gimme a sec to think about that...Ed..." He softly whispered into his friend's ear.

"Yeah?"

"FLOOR IT!!!" With that, Ed got on all fours and rocketed forward, hitting Edd in the process and causing him to land on his rump, forcing him to hold on for dear life as the Eds made off with the crown towards the portal.

The Eizouken crew watched them speed off, but, rather than give up, Asakusa quickly pointed to a car that Mr. Fujimoto left behind earlier near the base, with his keys still in it, no less. "Quick! We're not finished yet! Who here knows how to drive?"

"Say no more." Kanamori quickly got in the driver's seat and signaled for them to follow suite. "I haven't passed up on the chance to receive more profit and this is no exception! I'll be damned if I'm gonna let a bunch of weird Americans get away with it!" Once everyone was inside, she hit the gas, causing the car to rocket forth.

<https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1UG-NRYZi9k>

"GAAAAAH! YOU COULD HAVE AT LEAST LET US PUT ON SEATBELTS!" Mizusaki cried out as Asakusa and Doumeki held onto her. 

"You're crazy!" Doumeki agreed. The tallest one didn't listen. She just lowered the window and turned up the AC as she made her way through town, zeroing in on the fleeing enemies. 

Ed continued to run like the wind, with Eddy blowing a raspberry at anybody who dared follow him...only for a jeep to suddenly appear over a hill with Kanamori honking the horn for emphasis. His eyes bulged out as he screamed in terror. "Step on it, Ed! Ever seen the movie, Duel?!"

"I hear ya', Eddy!" Getting the reference, Ed knew to book it, swerving through the many winding paths of this city while Edd, to ease his stress, took in the sights and started writing things down in a random notebook.

The chase continued, with many civilians having to get out of the way before either Ed sent them flying into the air or the Eizouken jeep could get to them. Asakusa's imagination once again ran rampant. In place of the Eds, it were three bandit-like figures riding atop a blinded bull, while her group was commandeering an even larger bull with jet propellers at the back. Plenty of techno jargin filled in the gaps that she would always meticulously go over. The whole affair had gone from terrifying to exhilarating! Was this the so-called 'thrill of the hunt'?

During this chase, Ed resorted to jumping atop some of the shops when they went into that particular district. Even Kashima, whom was working his shop, happened to get a glimpse of them running/driving past his place. "Huh. This must be how they're getting pumped up." He remarked, already eagerly anticipating the next anime project they would make. 

Eventually, the two forces were neck-and-neck. Kanamori had to use just one arm to reach out and attempt to snag the crown. "Asakusa! A little help here?!" She yelled as Eddy kept snagging it away, confident in his victory.

"Just give her the crown! I'm starting to get motion sickness!" Edd covered his mouth before he noticed that the smallest one was opening the backdoor. "Ma'am! Have you no concern for your safety?!"

"Nope! Just a love for the world the Eizouken's gonna make!" She leaped out, much to the distress of Mizusaki and Doumeki before she actually managed to grab a hold on Edd's hat, which he clung to with all of his meager might. Whipping out her combat shovel out of her backpack, she dug it into a nearby wall, creating sparks as she attempted to slow down the moving Ed. 

"What are you waiting for?! Throw her off!" Eddy commanded before both he and Kanamori noticed a giant sign saying ' _You are leaving this district; have a happy day!_ ' heading right for them. "Break, break, break, BREAK!"

"Aw, shit." Kanamori glared before a portal opened up, leading them to all rush in...

_**Back with Class 3...** _

Yukari was breathing into a paper bag provided by her (somewhat long-suffering) best friend Nyamo. "So...that's what happened." Yomi finished explaining to the swim coach. 

"Do you know what this means?! I wasn't stupid for thinking magic existed back in the day!" Tomo fist-bumped. 

"The thought of you being able to wield such a thing is enough to send shivers down my spine." The glasses-wearing one attempted to sound neutral, but even she was still genuine in that.

Chiyo chose to look at this more methodically. "Hmmm...it's not the things **W** did that make me doubt this whole thing. It's his warnings. Who would be heartless enough to either bulldoze this school into a candy factory or make an anime with the express purpose of digging into the resources?"

"Can't we just go on like this didn't happen? I'm freaking out!" Kaorin exclaimed before hugging Sakaki closer. 

Yukari finally calmed down before clearing her throat. "Let's all agree this was a collective hallucination and move on. Much as I hate to admit it, we still have a whole hour of lunch to go before lunch."

"She's right. Forgive me if I find this to still be pretty outlandish." Nyamo agreed. "Doesn't explain why the place smells like brimstone all the sudden."

However, it was then that Osaka heard something. The sound of a portal like the last one and...tires? Screaming students? "I didn't know we had a race-rally in the halls." He said.

"Race-rally? The heck are you talking about?" Kagura raised a brow before the sound grew even louder before-

SMAAASH!

The wall exploded, prompting everyone to hit the deck. Once the dust cleared, they all looked up to see what exactly had caused such a mess. Sure enough, it was the Eizouken's jeep, with Kanamori still having a look of disinterest on her face despite the shivering passengers in the backseat. The Eds were smashed against the grill, with Asakusa holding onto Edd's hat even tighter, her eyes darting from left to right as the crown fell from Eddy's hand and rolled over to the front desk.

Not to mention, the path behind them was in complete disarray, with many students hugging the walls and the floors covered in tire tread. "I think we're safe?" Mizusaki finally spoke up when nobody else did. 

"Home...free..." Eddy weakly said before the crown finished rolling until it was at Yukari's feet.

Broken out of her stupor, the teacher picked it up, willing to look past the damages done to her classroom for the moment, while Nyamo kept stammering in shock. "So...this is that crown we heard about? Let's see if this thing actually works." Thinking of 2000 yen, two rolls of it landed in her hands, causing her to gasp in absolute joy. "Holy crap! YES! Finally, I get an actual break in my life! Take a good look, losers! You see this, Nyamo? Huh? Huh? Huh? HUH?"

Instead, Nyamo continued to stammer and slowly point to the elephant (or jeep) in the room.. "I ain't paying for this." Kanamori said before getting out of the car. "I don't know where we ended up, but that thing belongs to us. Hand it over. I'm not gonna ask for the billionth time." 

Tomo, however, was the second to get out of being shocked, having experience with enjoying runamuck cars (Yukari-mobile, anybody?). "Nope! Finders keepers! We're rich! And you know what that means?"

"More money for the school's funding, staring with the wall?" Chiyo asked.

"Something productive with your lives?" Yomi added. 

"Bill Clinton's personal information?" Okasa tilted her head. 

"My fist in your face?!" Eddy pulled himself together before rushing to the front of the class. "Hey! Christmas cakes!" He pointed at the two teachers. "Fork over the crown and nobody gets hurt."

The pieces were coming together out of sheer rage for the teacher. The three weirdos who got the brunt of the jeep must have been the ones opting for that jawbreaker scheme AND the ones who called her that utterly incensing nickname from before. "Oh, yeah?! You'll have to pry it off my cold dead fingers, half-pint!" 

"Who are you calling half-pint, grandma?!"

"Oh yeah, shorty?!"

"Oh yeah, crow's feet?!"

"Oh shut up already." Kanamori just walked over and gripped the crown, but Yukari and Eddy also got a grip on it. They all stood like that, locked in a stand-still.

"It's like watching a ticking time-bomb in action." Asakusa jumped off Edd's head as the he and Ed also stood up shakily. 

Speaking of Edd, he gasped when he saw the damages wrought by this whole thing. "Gracious! Curse the random selection of location!"

Kagura, however, decided to step in. "Hey, Yukari! If you need a hand, we'll send these Americans all the way back to Eagleland if you want." Remembering **W** 's words, she pointed a finger at Edd. "You like jawbreakers?!"

"Erm...very much, ma'am. Why do you ask?" He started to shake as he considered what was about to happen next when Tomo and Osaka joined their companion. 

"Then we know just what to do! Knuckleheads, let's give these slavedrivers a warm welcome!" Tomo raised a fist before they grabbed some random objects (a desk for Kagura, two notebooks for Tomo, and a recently sharpened pencil for Osaka) to pummel them with. "CHAAARGE!" 

"WAIT! Can't we talk about-" Too late. Edd found himself getting creamed by the trio, though it was mostly the first two, as Osaka just opted for poking him with her pencil absentmindedly. Yomi buried her head in her hands, shaking it as she decided to just sleep this off and hoped this insanity would go away. Asakusa just nervously backed away from the pummeling and moved behind Kanamori (too many people for comfort, after all), whom was still locked in a vicious staring contest with her two new enemies.

"I'm helping too! Nobody here will be your slaves!" Kaorin cried out before joining in the fun with only meager blows from her fists against Edd, whom was sprawled onto the floor like a stain. 

Ed just stood there, looking back at the passengers in the jeep. "I think we'll just stay in here." Doumeki sank into her seat, ashamed she didn't have her recorder with her at the moment. Mizusaki felt like she should have been doing more, but she just sighed and followed suite with curling up inside. 

Chiyo tugged on Ed's sleeve, getting his attention. "Excuse me? Are you really going to turn our school into a jawbreaker factory? You don't seem like the type to do that, just by observing your friend." She pointed to Edd, whom was being flung around like a lasso by Kagura.

"It's like this guy's made of nothing! And to think we're supposed to be afraid of them!" The sporty one yawned. 

Back with Ed, his belly started to rumble. "Did you say jawbreakers?" He excitedly turned to her. "Yum-yum!"

"Yes, but...you wouldn't make us your slaves for that, would you?" Chiyo spoke slowly, already sensing that this man was a dullard.

He stood up straight and shook his head. "Nope. Only villains do that. I am Ed!" Before he could continue on a speech he borrowed from one of his comic books, he caught a glimpse of a picture of a kitten cuddling with a bunch of baby chickens. That belonged to Sakaki, who was looking through a photo album she brought to school as a way of coping with stress, usually caused by either tests or being separate from Maya for too long or whatever was going on right now. That instantly got him hooked, causing him to lean into what she was looking at.

To which, she noticed. "Oh!" She looked over her shoulder to see the just-as-tall man gaze at the pics with stars in his eyes. "Are you...alright?"

"Do you love chickens too?" He asked, his heart a flutter with the absolutely adorable pictures.

"Well...they're very cute. You can look too." She offered softly, causing him to sit next to her with gusto. "These were taken on a farm near the shopping district. I wish I could have been there." He nodded vigorously in agreement. 

"I wish I had my own bunch of giblets to take care of and love every single day! I could be that kitty cat too!" He hugged himself before toppling over with a hearty laugh. Sakaki actually found this rather charming, sensing that he was rather friendly and a fan of baby animals to boot.

"Some days, I wish I was a cat." She admitted.

"And some days, I wish I was a lizard! Oink, oink!" He got out several sheets of paper and made them look like frills for emphasis. "I was a chameleon once."

"You seem to have a lot of imagination." Sakaki admitted. "It's...nice to meet you." She turned away, already having a rush of anxiety return that could only be placated by looking aback at her album. Ed was a bit surprise by that sudden change in mood, but he shrugged and continued to look with her, having a near heart-attack from cuteness as the next pic showed a baby chicken atop a kitten's head.

But now, we bring you to less pleasant sights, as Chiyo and Asakusa tried to get their respective pals to back off. Edd would have joined, but he was currently sprawled out on the floor beneath the cheers of the three that beat him down. Obviously, tugging on their shirts and trying to appeal to their better natures wasn't cutting it. "You better let go of MY crown or you're all gonna be shopping for new teeth! You especially!" Eddy pointed at Kanamori.

"Likewise." She glared. "Unlike you both, we actually have an agenda. Stop embarrassing yourselves or we'll personally make you."

"She'll do it too." Asakusa whispered.

"Cram it! As the adult in the room, I have the power to have it! The last thing I need is you brats waving this around willy-nilly!" Yukari argued. The three continued to cling to the crown before their heads collided into each-other, tempers flaring even hotter.

Pretty much everyone in the room could feel the temperature rising, causing them stop in their tracks. "Um...think we should step in?" Kagura asked.

"Nah. This is starting to get good." Tomo commented. 

"The sound of a tea kettle...how is that even possible?" Doumeki opened the jeep door a bit as steam erupted from the aggressive trio's ears.

The crown began to glow brightly, filling their eyes with a purple haze. "They're powering up! I've seen this before, but only on television!" Mizusaki exclaimed. "It's almost like a dream...or nightmare." She added ominously.

"This..." Kanamori began.

"...MEANS..." Yukari added.

" _ **WAAAAAAAAAR!!!**_ " Eddy roared with enough force to knock everyone back, the sound of a nuclear explosion accompanying his yell. Right as he finished, a portal opened up at the front desk, with a clear image of the Cul-de-sac in view. Seeing an opportunity, he nabbed the crown. "See you later, suckers! This ain't over! You'll be seeing me again REAL soon! All of you! Come on, boys!" 

"Alleyoop!" Ed shouted as he grabbed Edd and lept into the portal.

"Gracious!" Edd cried out as they did so.

"Geranamo!" Eddy finished as he dive-bombed into the swirling mass, which quickly vanished. 

Everyone stood dumbfounded before a portal emerged behind the Eizouken jeep. "Look! A way out!" Mizusaki exclaimed. "So sorry for all of this! We'll find a way to make up for it! We swear!"

Kanamori grabbed Asakusa and got into the driver's seat again. "If you know what's good for all of you, you'll stay out of our way." She gave them a rather disturbing grin. "You might get hurt..." With that, she backed up into the portal, leaving everyone in the dust.

"...WHAT JUST HAPPENED?!" Nyamo had finished her mental break just to exclaim that. 

"I'll tell you what just happened...a bunch of idiots signing their death warrants..." Yukari clutched her newly acquired yen in her hands before it crumbled to dust, unable to sustain itself without the crown. She was about to scream in rage, but she instantly calmed herself. "No. This isn't the end. Need to find a way to bounce back from this..." She suddenly pointed at her class. "And you're all gonna pitch in! They want a war?! We'll give 'em one they'll never recover from!"

"I should have stayed home today." Yomi grumbled as everybody began to talk among themselves about where to go from this.

"At least I tried." Chiyo sighed, wishing there would have been a more diplomatic way to handling what would inevitably follow...

**_Much later at the Cul-De-Sac..._ **

The other residents of this humble place were just on their way to school. Once more, they would handle their own affairs and maybe get into the odd situation or two. They weren't expecting, right next to the school, a giant bank made of gold with many more statues made of the same material lining the path to it. Giant dollar signs, golden jawbreakers, and especially statures of a certain greedy fool as well. Adorned on the bank's front was the giant yellow neon sign displaying _'Eddy's Jawbreaker Bank'._

"Whoever made all this deserves to get sacked! The heck's going on here?!" Kevin yelled.

"I dunno, but I don't like it." Sarah growled.

"Preach." Kevin nodded.

Rolf looked mortified as he looked around and sensed an eldritch power nearby. "It is a sign of the end times! Rolf urges all to go home and store all that you can! Your doodads! Your great feasts! The confusing button-boxes you call phones!"

"Calm down everyone. It's probably another scam." Nazz offered.

"Don't think so soon! Look!" Jimmy pointed to the bank's doors which suddenly opened with a shining yellow light.

When everybody could look without damaging their eyes, Eddy was sitting atop a throne being carried by Ed, while Edd followed close behind with a nervous expression. The shortest one was wearing a pristine white suit with a top hat and cane, as well as the crown atop his hat. "Greetings, commoners! Your new King of the Cul-de-sac is here! You may kneel now."

"But...how...why?!" Kevin stammered, foaming at the mouth at how far the greedy one seemed to get so soon. 

"Check it out! Kevin's about ready to lose it!" Johnny pointed as everybody gazed in awe of the...well, everything that Eddy seemed to have gained.

"Surprised? Come on in. Let's all talk business..." Eddy smirked as **W** appeared next to him, chuckling alongside him...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The stage has been set (which was kind of hard, due to the sheer amount of characters in one scene). Make no mistake. Things will get more organized from here.


	3. The Winds of War

**_The Jawbreaker Fortress Bank..._ **

Still carried on a large throne that Ed dutifully held up with his back, Eddy smirked as he spun his crown around his cane before having it land on his head again. "So, like the new digs? Perfect for the new King of the Cul-De-Sac." He claimed before his throne was set in the middle of the place. It was just as ornate as he wanted it, with eye-searing white marble everywhere and a red carpet to show to the throne, which had two Chinese Lion-like Eddy statues side by side. There were a few locked doors that led to the staircases that led up the incredibly tall building.

"This is SO NOT COOL!" Kevin raged. "How the heck did you gain all of this?! Is it the freak with the hat?" He pointed to **W** , whom was just minding his own business and looking at the newcomers.

"Why, yes! I am his benefactor and the one who will ensure a glorious future for your meaningless lives." **W** explained, gesturing to Eddy again as he floated around the place. "With this crown, he will ensure nobody goes hungry or bored. Anything you want, you'll have to ask him first."

Eddy beamed at that news, whipping out his cane as he stepped forth and whacked Kevin on the head with it in a teasing way. "Guess that means you're not the big-shot anymore." He reveled in Kevin's utterly annoyed growl, before he jumped back to avoid a punch. "GUARD! Seize the loser!"

"Yes, sir!" Ed saluted before belly-flopping on the bike-rider, crushing him.

"We're doomed..." Jimmy shivered before meekly raising his hand. "Excuse me?"

"Don't bother, Jimmy. He's just full of hot-air right now! Plank's the king of the Culd-de-sac, remember?!" Sarah pointed out.

"Nope." Johnny said honestly. "Plank says that he got tired of all that work and settled for a vacation with his family. So...yeah. We're dooooomed!"

Edd raised his hands up. "Calm down, everyone! So long as you compose yourselves...and appeal to Eddy's enlarged ego..." He added that with a grimace. "I'm sure things will return to normal."

"Nah, smartypants. There's gonna be some changes around here." Eddy kicked back in this throne. "First off, I expect to be groveled to at 10:00 AM, 3:00 PM, 9:00 PM, and basically any time in-between. Gotta keep a schedule for this kind of thing." Eddy said curtly, as if he had been planning for this for a long time.

"Rolf does not agree with such ridiculousness!" The farmer of the group marched forward, raising his shoe in protest. "Take a look! My greatest weapon objects to your bufoonery!"

"I also will use my riches to make sure your farm animals stop annoying me." Eddy conceded, knowing better than to anger the foreigner.

That calmed Rolf down instantly. "Perhaps you are as gracious as you are small as a wilted eggplant. Rolf will allow this to continue." He bowed.

"Traitor." Kevin muttered.

"SECOND..." Eddy pointed at Nazz. "A king gets lonely time to time. So..."

"In your dreams!" Nazz instantly shouted. "Who do you think I am? A gold digger? Just because you're richer than, I dunno, the president or whatever, doesn't mean I'll go on a date with the likes of you!" 

That actually made Eddy wince, but his gaze hardened. "Okay. I see how it is. Watch as I actually MAKE something of this cul-de-sac and we'll see you change your tune faster than you can say ka-ching!" Calming down, he continued this rules. "I outta make a list...THIRD! All of you valuables and whatever you think would look good in my temple, or, really, whatever I please, you better fork over in the next 24 hours or I start consulting the wizard here for ideas!"

 **W** chuckled as dark magic swirled in his hands. Even Ed was put on edge by that, knowing full well that that stuff did in movies. "And believe me...I have a vivid imagination. But please, glorious ruler...tell them how you intend to defend your subjects from the incoming threats at hand."

Eddy regained himself, clearing his throat. "Oh, right. Ahem...fourth, we've actually gotta put in the legwork if we're to get this party starting and not stopping. So, EVERYBODY in this room better pitch in! We've got some crazy girls from these other worlds that want a piece of me and my kingdom. So, with this guy's help, as well as my awesomeness, we're gonna send them packing! Help me good, and I'll spice up the deal, 'kay?"

"Don't tell me. You got us into trouble by getting rich, didn't you?" Kevin accused.

"We should remind you all that diplomatic skills are heavily required." Edd asked. "We wouldn't want to face a battle in which we or even they sustain horrible injuries. After all, we're still enjoying the lives of, let's be honest, young adults left with almost zero parental supervision...this is not helping my case, is it?"

"Nope, Double D. No, it isn't." Nazz shook her head. "And just what do you mean 'crazy girls'?"

"An army of Kankers?!" Jimmy worried.

"Worse...okay, maybe not worse, but still! They're actually smart! Or, at least, ruthless! Crazy! We're gonna need to make this place so fortified that they'll have to be invisible to get in!" Eddy commanded. "Ed! You're my general!"

With that, the dullard saluted, hitting himself in the eye, but not caring. "Ready for duty, king Eddy! I live to swerve and prospect!"

"Yeah...sure. Thanks. Double D! Tactician! Come up with a strategy that works!" 

"But Eddy!" Edd objected. "We haven't even properly declared war yet, let alone checked our resources, morale, experience-"

"And all of you...impress me." Eddy pointed to everybody else. "You gotta earn your keep if you wanna bask in my glory. So, for now, GET LOST! The fortress' closed! But don't worry. Come on back soon, cuz' I love ya'!" He winked, but everybody just grumbled as they left.

Kevin looked back with a look of utter hate. "This...this isn't' over." With that, they all left, slamming the doors shut.

Edd gave a slow-clap. "Brilliant, Eddy. You've alienated our only possible allies by imposing not a monarchical system on them like I thought you would, but a dictatorship. Don't lie. I can see it in your eyes. You need to connect with them a bit more if we're to defend ourselves from a massive group of angry...powerful..." He shuddered when he remembered the vicious beatdown he got from the knuckleheads at that last school.

 **W** chuckled. "Have no fear, all of you. I am going to give you two a boo. This fortress already has its share of tricks and traps deep inside, but you will be having some...friends over. Friends that shall assist you greatly. Friends of divine temper!" He leaned into Ed. "You will have raw power!" Then to Edd. "Pure might!" Finally, to Eddy. "Do you know what you will have...?"

Eddy smirked, liking where this was going. "Oh, yeah? What?"

The wizard made a dramatic pause as he said the next word softly, but firmly for all to hear. "... _ **MONSTERS.**_ "

**_Meanwhile with the Eizouken Group..._ **

Everyone was gathered at the table at the base, already thinking about what had transpired. "So...to recap, the Motion Picture Club we bent our backs to get into shape is being under attack by a bunch of idiots from another dimension, we've got that UFO project to turn in soon, and our newest meal ticket is trapped in said idiot's grasp." Kanamori began, obviously not in a good mood. "In short, we're swamped."

"Swamped?! But we can't give up now!" Mizusaki implored. "The Ultimate World won't stand for it! Right, Asakusa? Hello?"

The smaller girl was deep in thought, but also wary of the wizard floating next to her. "Guuuh...creepy." Parker muttered. "And why am I here? I know I was there for the incident, but I don't think that means I should be involved in personal battle plans or whatever this is."

"But Doumeki!" Asakusa regained a bit of confidence as she slammed her fists on the table. "This was a declaration of war against our world and you're part of it! Don't you wanna defend yourself or do you wanna get trampled by the living definition of a Napoleon complex?!" 

"I wanna get back to the world I'm familiar with, that's what." Doumeki argued, referring to her vast collection of sounds she had gathered. "Although, new worlds means new sounds. I might think it over."

"The time for thinking is done! At least, in that regard." **W** exclaimed, having arrived a few minutes after being with the Eds. "Now, action must be done! If you are to strike a decisive blow and defend your beloved Eizouken, you must rally the troops and unleash destruction upon your foes, as well as get the crown."

"Yeah!" Asakusa and Mizusaki exclaimed, raising their fists in the air and humming a generic marching song that made Doumeki cringe with how bad it was.

Kanamori, however, as far from impressed. "Big talk coming from a guy who told us to essentially have no plan of attack. Then again, I could always just barrel through the little guy and have it done with. Easy as pie...but why do I get the feeling it's not that easy?" She put some fingers to her chin, cracking her knuckle on the other hand.

"Wait a sec! What do you mean 'troops'? We don't have an army. I mean, I wish we did..." Mizusaki said, remembering the UFO project and all its depictions of battle. Maybe something like that? A massive fleet of UFOs to storm whatever area they went to? Then again, that would mean possibly claiming lives. Asakusa was also deep in thought, as if they were thinking the same thing.

 **W** chuckled. "That's the fun part. You see, Eddy will be very prepared when you fight him. However, even if it's just to see what he's capable of, you need to make an impression that your world is unbreakable." He snapped his fingers and raised his staff, causing a massive black light to go through the window and up the roof, tearing a small hole in it and frightening the others. 

"Greaaaat. More damages to pay for and explain to the council." Kanamori groused.

"What did you do?!" Asakusa asked, curious more than anything.

"That's it. I'm packing it in." Doumeki decided to leave, reasoning to herself that it was a professional's job to stick to her field and not worry about possibly going into a warzone, if this was any indication, as well as that ominous line about 'troops'. However, **W** was soon in her face. "Ack! Too close!"

"Listen..." He whispered before showing her a hologram of her beloved sound collection in his hand. "If you do not partake, I may have to...persuade you another way..." He smashed the hologram in his hand, making her eyes widen.

"You...you wouldn't..." She breathed before turning to her compatriots, who were looking at them curiously. "Girls...this guy's bad-" She was stopped when he waved a finger again, reminding her of what he would do if she stepped out of line. "I mean, I'm in! Let's go see whatever he did." She grumbled that last bit as the trio headed outside, her following last as she slumped. "A hostage situation...you really can't be trusted, can you?"

"Oh, no. I can be trusted. Trusted to do something not nice if you dare go off-script." He warned before going back into a cheery mood. "Now, everybody! The portal to the cul-de-sac will vanish occasionally, potentially leaving you trapped there until it opens again. So, make this quick and let us head off with your new army!"

Again, the four of them were confused. "You keep saying that. How about actually-"

"LOOK!" Asakusa interrupted her taller cynical friend as she looked in amazement at what was descending from the sky, blocked out from all other eyes by a sudden huge gust of mist. Only they could see the flying machines descending from that fog. They weren't just any flying machines...they were flying pods in the shape of dragonflies, complete with the wings and flexible tail. It was the Kairi Pod, but multiplied by 50! A whole fleet of them controlled by nobody at all. Unlike her drawings, however, they were purple and red in color.

"No way..." Kanamori's eyes were actually a bit wide. One of Asakusa's designs was now realized with seemingly none of the flaws. All here in record time. As if it were through...no, it was magic. Magic was real. Case closed. That's what everybody thought that met the wizard, anyway. Even then, this was still mystifying.

"It's...AMAZING!" Mizusaki's eyes brimmed with tears of joy as she watched the hordes fly through the sky in a synchronized fashion, with a larger green/blue one leading the charge and landing in front of them. "This is the best day ever!"

"You did this! You did all of this for us!" Asakusa looked at the big mech-pod, looking for any technological discrepancies she could point out, only to find none. She began to list off all of the features she had planned for this that is had, though she didn't expect the laser add-ons underneath, as well as the more efficient flying design that would make the wings beat faster. "The lasers are still invisible, right?"

"Yes. Apparently, that's what lasers do. Be assured! More of your perfect world shall assist you in future! For now, use what you have! Show that cul-de-sac your club's might!" **W** proclaimed as Asakusa and Mizusaki danced around the thing, continuously bringing it praise, while Kanamori and Doumeki sighed. Something about this was too good to be true, but there was no use holding back.

With a random military cap she found at the dollar store, Kanamori steeled her gaze. There WAS indeed a time for thought...and now a time for action.

**_Back with the Azumanga Crew..._ **

Yukari slammed a stack of papers on her desk, getting the class' attention. It was past lunch break and the school was now in a panicked flurry in many areas. That's what happens when a random jeep crashes through the wall without any signs of previous entry, as well as having your classroom still have marks of debris around. "Class, the new lesson has nothing to do with language or anything like that! Good news! No boring-ass homework!"

"YAY!" Tomo cheered. 

"Bad news, you're all gonna fall in, NOW!" The teacher slammed a fist down on her desk, almost splintering it and terrifying the class into submission.

"Still, YAY!" The same wildcat yelled as the class all stood up, **W** also materializing.

"GAH! You again?!" Kagura cried out.

He tipped his hat in front of the terrified class. "Indeed! I am here to help, as you know." He then saluted to Yukari. "Ma'am, yes ma'am! State your plan and let me see how we can fix it!"

"Wait, wait, wait! We don't have to escalate this!" Chiyo yelled. "I remember talking to one of them. The big guy with the flat head! I think his name was...what was it?"

"Ed." Sakaki offered, not really wanting to be a part of this. She detested violence, despite looking like she could inflict it 200 times over on a horde of Yakuza. "His name was Ed."

"He was with the bad guys! Did you fend him off? I was too busy cowering in fear." Kaorin admitted shamefully.

"No. He was very sweet." Sakaki said curtly, still remembering that infectious laugh and rather funny face.

Karoin stopped for a moment, taking in what she said. "...oh. Okay." Slight jealousy aside, at the very least, none of them were hurt.

"Yeah, Ed!" Chiyo continued. "Not all of them are bad. Maybe this is just one big misunderstanding?"

Yukari stared daggers into the now trembling girl. "Now, you've done it." Yomi sighed, already telling this was going to be a loooong day or two.

As Chiyo attempted to speak, Yukari continued to look like the most terrifying woman in the room. "Their leader crossed one too many lines...smashing up our school...threatening us with back-aching labor for some stupid jawbreaker thing...and being a total assholian jerk! Not to mention that tombstone-toothed delinquent that wants to steal our funding! It's either us or them that gets that crown and it ain't gonna be them! You! Wizard guy! Any way we can stick it to that shorty?"

 **W** chuckled, floating to them. "The portal to Eddy's world will vanish in due time, but it will always reappear. Vice versa for his world to yours. That means time is finite when battling him for the first time. To defeat your enemy, know your enemy. Even if you lose on your first battle, you will come out with more experience. Just try not to get any of these fine warriors killed. Heh, heh."

"Warriors?" Sakaki titled her head.

"Experience?" Kagura titled a brow.

"Killed?!" Chiyo and Kaorin shivered.

"Fine?" Osaka finally spoke up before walking towards the mystical being. "Mister **W**? What do you mean when you call us fiiiine? Are we, like, the best in town? Or the the nation? Or the world? Or the solar system? Or-"

"You talk quite a lot, don't you...?" The wizard commented before chuckling. "That's good! Very good! One of the ways you shall all win!"

"This is insane! We're not just gonna go out there, non-existant guns blazing and-"

"I'M IN!" Tomo interrupted Yomi as she raised a fist. "I'm gonna clobber 'em! Right, Knuckleheads?! Calling it now! Wildcat Tomo's Knucklehead Division!"

Already, the class was erupting into chaos, talking about how this was a total farce and the ways they could avoid it entirely or embrace it. Obviously, Tomo was the main header of the latter, while Chiyo continued to advocate peace. Yomi was of a third camp that just didn't care, yet she couldn't take her eyes off of watching Tomo work the crowd. It was rather...enticing. Like she didn't want to look away from it all. Come to think of it, she was rather vibrant as she was annoying when energized...

Before she could ponder that more, **W** raised a staff. "Hear me, students! For I shall give you the means to save your school! Do you not care for it?! If not, LEAVE. If you do not wish to be a part of this, then that is your only option, but know that you lead your school to destruction!" Despite such a display, everybody but the named characters left. "Huh. Saw that one coming. Would have liked it if the script was flipped just a little..."

Soon, everybody was standing in a line, having various levels of discomfort on their faces (except for Tomo and Osaka, whom was spacing out again). "Alright, ladies...get ready to actually put your backs into something." Yukari said proudly before turning to the wizard. "So, uh, what's the plan? The only viable troops here are Sakaki and Kagura and MAYBE Tomo."

"Patience...AHEM..." He cleared his throat. "You have been selected to defend your school from devastation. To do this, I bestow upon you the spirits of several monsters from my past. They shall grant you extraordinary powers that will pave the way for your success. Who wants to go fir-don't answer that. You, Tomo...come here."

Lickity split, the wildcat was standing in front of him with a big smile on her face. "Alright! Bring it on! I'm gonna be the strongest out of all of you guys!" She pointed at her classmates before his wand tapped on her, filling her with dark energy that gave her a little bit of a jolt. Around her, the shadowy construct of a rather hidous dog-like thing with a rug draped over it, as well as having fake fangs, screeched around her. "The heck?!"

"You have the spirit of **The Killer Shrew**. Fast, unrelenting, poisonous. One strike and you shall leave your enemies weak, long after the battle is done." He stated sagely.

"A shrew, huh? Sounds appropriate." Yomi commented. 

"I honestly thought that fit Miss Yukari more." Kagura whispered, only getting a slight chill when she got the same glare Chiyo got from before for that line.

Tomo stared at herself as she DID feel like complaining, but the results were there. "I...I feel it! Like I could run around the whooooole school and never tire! I gotta try it right now!" She got into an Olympic runner position and zoomed out of the classroom, laughing like a hyena all the way as she felt the power-rush. 

"...fine. Me next. Gotta be something to keep her in check." Yomi said before the wand was tapped on her, showing her a rather terrifying construct of a demonic-looking alien with eyes growing in places where they shouldn't have been.

"You have the spirit of **The Beast with a Million Eyes**. You wish to be in control and see all. Now, through the eyes of lesser creatures, you can!" Sure enough, when Yomi put her mind to it, she could see what an eagle outside was seeing. Or a dog barking several feet away. Her wonder faded when she accidentally looked through the many eyes of a cicada, causing her to faint.

Next up was Kagura, who puffed her chest up proudly. "Alright. Let's hope I get a good one. I bet it'll be better than Sakaki's! Come on, I'm as ready as Tomo!" When she was tapped, she saw a massive desert lizard moving through every manner of obstacles.

"You have the spirit of **The Giant Gila Monster**. Nothing stands in your way. All who try are crushed beneath your feet!" Sure enough, the athlete felt her strength increase tenfold, despite every blow she made being slower. The desk next to her was reduced to powder, needless to say.

Osaka walked up to **W** , considering everyone else was doing it. "So...what happens now?" She asked before she was tapped, making her see the construct of an evil man going through solid objects.

"You have the spirit of **The 4D Man**. Your sense of reality has shifted into a sense that you can step into a new dimension...that being able to shift through objects with ease." Osaka's gaze was transfixed on a wall she kept pushing her hand through, staring in awe.

"Eeeeh! So creepy!" Kaorin said before sucking it up. "I want to go next! I want to protect Miss Sakaki!" She put a fist to her chest, slightly getting the taller girl's attention, only to be shoved aside and given a weapon. It was a rather large futuristic tube that looked like it could fit an arm inside.

"You get no spirit. Just a weapon I found in another one of my travels. It believe the weapon was called **LaserBlast**. Wear this pendant to make it work..." He handed the timid girl over the small green jewel necklace, making her look at it uncomfortably.

"Giving Kaorin a weapon...we may be doomed." Yukari sighed, yet her hopes were high, given that her students were getting all of these powers. Maybe she would be next?

Sure enough, Chiyo was chosen, making her cower under **W** , but now she was getting annoyed. "Again! We don't have to-" She was interrupted when she was tapped and she saw objects move on their own, yet not through telekinesis. There were clearly beings moving them.

"You have the spirit of the **Invisible Invaders**. Able to infiltrate any place through the power of not being seen..." Much to the little girl's surprise, she slowly vanished, causing the others (especially Sakaki) to gasp in shock before she materialized. Even she was in awe.

Speaking of Sakaki, she was tapped next, surprising her. "Hmmmm...nothing yet. How interesting. Nevertheless, you seem strong enough. Perhaps your spirit will awaken in due time." He chuckled darkly, making the tall girl feel rather nervous and more than a bit uncomfortable at everything happening around her.

Finally, the being turned to a now beaming Yukari. "And you..." Tapping her on the head, he beholden her to the sight of a large brain floating around, two bored looking eyes on it, which changed her mood considerably (as in, it grossed her out). "You have the spirit of **The Brain from Planet Arous**. With your conquering mind, you shall carve the initials on the grave of your foes." Feeling her mental powers increase, the language teacher could feel the power to move things...or blow something up...all from a distance...

"Oh, no...what have you done?!" Chiyo covered her face as Yukari began to giggle before she laughed for real.

"YES! The power! The absolute power!" She cried out, laughing evilly with suddenly dark shiny eyes.

"Wow. Only took her two seconds to go mad with power." Yomi admitted. "That's impressive. I gave her only one second on the clock."

 **W** chuckled as everybody marveled over their new powers. "So...who's ready to use them in the most meaningful way we can think of? Oh, yes...TO BATTLE!"

"YEAH! TO BATTLE, BITCHES!" Yukari declared with him before Tomo came rushing back in, quite tuckered out.

"Urrrgh...what did I miss?" She muttered.

**_The Trailer Park..._ **

Welcome to the Peach Creek version of No-Man's Land. This area seems abandoned, given that nobody seemed to occupy any of the derelict trailers strewn across this place. However, there was one trailer that many dreaded due to its three occupants. Mainly, the Kanker Sisters, whom were just chilling and no doubt about to get bored enough to try and shag our trio of dunderheads.

But time was not kind to either of them. The Eds were legal now, but they were older than before. Nothing bad, in fact, they looked quite fine. Thick in all the right areas, especially if you were May or Marie, but they saw it as a sign of panic. That if they didn't act fast, they'd be counting the crow's feet on their eyes, as well as the wrinkles.

"This SUCKS, Lee!" Marie complained. "Years later and we still ONLY get to first base!"

"It's not fair!" May agreed, more melancholy if anything. Out of the trio, she was the one that hungered for love the most, but alas. A Kanker's instincts beget unwanted advances through way of violence.

"Shut you, you two! I'm thinkin'..." Lee put a finger to her chin as they sat on their chairs. "Let's see...haunted house...historical accuracy...reverse psycho-whatever..." She though of the various times she and her sisters got a leg up on the Eds. Or, really, a lip up. And a thigh. And maybe a mouth (given the hickies the Eds usually came home with). "I've got it! Something big!"

"...very specific." Marie groused.

"Well, I don't see you coming up with any good ideas!" Lee yelled. "I mean, we could always just walk in like we own the place."

"When you put it that way, don't we already?" Marie mused. "Makes you wonder if we even need to bother with a plan. They're just so easy..." She put her chin on her hands as she thought of all the perverted things she was going to do to poor Edd. "Maybe we just need a plan to spice things up..."

May sighed. "I kinda wish we had something bigger...better...like Ed..." She looked out the window, missing her lunkhead. But there was something else in her that she never expected before...regret. What if she was wrong in pursuing him in the way he did? The Eds never seemed to visit often, always requiring the trio to go after them by force. A lot of work, but it was always worth it...by why not now?

Suddenly, the trailer started to shake, causing them to hold onto whatever they could. "What was that?!" Marie shouted. "Sounds like something big IS coming!"

"What could be BIGGER than getting our boyfriends?!" Lee yelled, despite realizing too that there was something amiss.

They got their answer when the trailer actually got overturned onto its back. Objects all over the trailer fell down, nearly crushing them in a few areas. Everything not nailed down was wrecked like they were, as they endured being buried under a pile of stuff. However, May managed to crawl out through the open window. "Girls?!" She called out before looking to see what caused that harrowing event.

She couldn't believe her eyes when she saw a massive komodo dragon had emerged from under the trailer, shaking dust off of his onyx-black scales. He was as big as a semi and just as long with the trailer attached. His yellow eyes adjusted to the light while his forked tongue flicked. Looking around, his eyes fell upon May, causing him to tilts his head quizzically. This prey looked...different from the prey back at his island...

Lee and Marie managed to crawl out at last, only to be met with the growling giant reptile. "Holy carp! What is that thing?!" May shrieked.

"Dammit, we have a gecko problem. I'll sort it out!" Lee balled her fists before the beast lunged, forcing her to smack it with a broken pipe, hitting it across the snout. Still, it was undettered, until it sensed something coming towards them as well.

Marie was the first to see the newcomer. Looming over the fallen trailer was something even stranger than a giant komodo dragon...an Allosaurus! Not just any Allosaurus, but one that was purple-scaled with black markings trailing along the eyes and singe marks all over his body. He was also rather large, towering over the Komodo a bit. Claws and neck outstretched, the dinosaur let out a deep loud roar that froze the Kankers in place.

The two reptillian beasts already started to size each-other up, with them roaring and snapping at each-other. Despite the Komodo being bulkier and perhaps just as fast, the Allosaurus was ready to just sink his teeth into the mutant lizard's neck, as well as rend him with the claws attached to his long arms. "What are we standing around for?! RUN!" Lee shouted. "Stupid geckos!"

"Yeah! This sucks! Let's just focus on getting our boyfriends! This ain't worth it!" Marie dismissed the sight, eager to get back to normalcy.

May looked back at the ruined home, wondering if more monsters were to come. A question that was answered when she caught a glimpse of another beast in the trailer park, banging against the doors of an abandoned trailer with his four tentacles. He was humanoid and just roughly 8 feet in height. This flabby-skinned teal-colored beast looked like what happened when you crossed an octopus with a man, with tentacle tips for feet, four tentacle arms, and a bulbous head that had a circular maw with razor sharp teeth, as well as searing red reptile eyes that kept looking around in perpetual wrath.

Once the Kankers had flown the coop, the monsters seemed like they were about to turn on each-other. The Komodo...the Octaman (what else do you name him?)...and the Allosaurus known as **Gwangi**. However, a strange magical light in the distance drew their attention. Looking at each-other one last time, they made their way to it, unsure what beckoned them, but one thing was for certain...

 **W** promised monsters for Eddy. He'd give those monsters from across the universe. Still, it was a blessing in disguise the fourth monster was trapped in the wreckage of many run-down trailers, trapped in a metal cage that would not hold...the creature inside shrieked at whatever noise was going on outside, attempting to claw his way out. He would eventually. He was strong enough to do that...if only people would stay quiet for a minute around the metal pod...

...but there is no such thing as a quiet place, is there?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yep. The monsters have arrived. We have the Komodo Dragon from "Curse of the Komodo", Gwangi from "The Valley of Gwangi" (obviously), Octaman, and...well, that would be telling. Unless you've already figured it out. And they aren't just over-glorified weapons, too, for Eddy...
> 
> Up Next: The first battle begins! Panic! Dragonfly ships! Monsters! Powers! Mayhem!


	4. Cul-De-Sac Chaos!

_**The Cul-De-Sac Portal, as Class 3 enters through...** _

Yukari led the charge, exiting the portal with the whole gang in tow. "Here we are, ladies! And it's...weird." She looked around at the weird-colored sky, the abstract-looking structures, and just how much it looked like a children's drawing of what a place should look like, except a bit more refined. Currently, both she and the others were walking through the woods.

"No wonder they looked kinda crazy. I knew we should have binged on Looney Tunes before this." Tomo said before squeeing. "I so can't wait to show off my powers to these guys!"

Everybody's attention went to Kaorin, whom struggled to lift the large arm-tube cannon that was strapped onto her limb. "Sakaki...please use this instead of me!"

That caused the taller girl to balk, not exactly a fan of weaponry, no matter how gaudy and ridiculous. "I...think we should just leave it be. No firing." She suggested.

"Aw, c'mon! Unless these guys really are loud-mouthed brainless idiots, nothing's gonna get us that crown other than storming their doors, kicking ass, and taking names!" Yukari boasted. "Let's review. I, obviously, have the best power." She lifted several trees, albeit she had to strain due to the roots, causing her to drop them. "Oh, wow...thought this would make things easier...I wanna nap..." 

"Not now! We're in a whole new world and I think we need all of us on the top of their game if we're gonna win." Kagura claimed, clenching her super-powered fist. "Right, Chiyo-chan? Chiyo-chan? You there?"

The youngster materialized, realizing she was using her power unwittingly. "Sorry! Maybe you all should send me. I'm getting used to turning invisible."

"And I'm still gettin' used to...whatever this is." Osaka was already halfway through the ground, causing the others to back away in shock. "My bad."

"That's it! I'm cutting loose!" Tomo prepared to bolt before Yomi grabbed her shoulder. "Ugh, fine. Killjoy."

"One second, everybody..." She closed her eyes, allowing her to shift between the eyes of whatever creatures inhabited this world. There were insects, but she wasn't doing that because A) Compound eyes were incredibly hard and disorienting to see through and B) That cicada left some pretty bad impressions. So, she settled for a seagull...then some animals on a farm a mile away...until she finally settled for yet another bird that was perched on a large bank, with way too much of that irritating short guy's likeness. "It's there, most likely." She finished her second-sight. "We may have to enter it as quietly as we can."

"Everybody, take a deeeeep breath. If we can pull this off, we'll be home in approximately ten minutes or less. If only **W** actually decided to help us." Chiyo said.

"He DID give us super-powers, so why don't we just clobber them?" Kagura slammed a fist into her palm.

"Forget this. Let's just go with Chiyo-chan's plan." Yukari sighed before turning to the rest of the group. "Listen up! Chiyo-chan and Osaka will infiltrate the bank! Yomi, you'll be our eyes and ears! The rest of us, we'll provide support if things go awry. With our powers, anything is possible! And the road to fame and fortune and some actual respect WILL BE MINE! MWUA-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Everybody just stared at her after that evil laugh, causing her to clear her throat. "And I take you all for dinner, my treat."

However, just as they all got a bit closer, a portal opened up in the sky, the Eizouken flying through it in their newly named 'Alpha Model Kairi Pod'. The rest of their armada would follow, but they were getting an early view of the land first. "This place...its so stiff." Mizusaki admitted, not really impressed with the lack of motion around them as they flew through. It truly felt unreal and incredibly uncanny to her. Barely any winds despite the sound and, well, it looked like drawings upon drawings. "What kind of place is this?"

"The kind of place that we're not gonna stick around. We'll just swoop in and go." Kanamori said resolutely, despite not being at the helm of the controls. That was Asakusa's job.

Speaking of whom, the shortest one was steeling her gaze on the Jawbreaker Bank as well, already sensing its importance in the otherwise normal, if not kinda-sorta abstract, cul-de-sac. "We're going in!" Before they could do that, the ship's wings came to a near stop, flapping much slower as something appeared to be pulling on them and the tail. "Huh?! Doumeki! Status report!"

Said sound-geek was situated in the very back, next to the escape port. Despite having second thoughts, she remembered what exactly **W** would do to her collection if she made one wrong move. Opening the hatch, with some instructions from Kanamori, she looked to see that nothing at all was holding on, except for maybe the woman below holding out her arm. "You've got to be kidding me! You're not going to believe this, but we've been followed!" Everybody looked to the window, seeing the group below.

"Nnng...you're...not going anywhere..." Yukari strained, sweating profusely. "This telepath stuff is supposed to be easy..."

"Maybe if you weren't so lazy, you'd have more of a chance." Yomi pointedly said.

"NOT HELPING." The teacher seethed before attempting to bring the thing down.

"Waaaa! We're sinking!" Mizusaki exclaimed. "We need to fire a warning shot! But not where it can hurt them!"

Asakusa nodded. Not wanting blood on the Eizouken's hands (who ever heard of 'death by aspiring anime team' anyway), she pressed a few buttons to control the turrents on the chin of the ship. Before an invisible laser could be fired, the sound of a microphone turning on could be heard across the land. "OW!" Doumeki covered her ears. "Why do people NEVER get how to work those things?!"

"Who cares?! It's him!" Kanamori pointed, grabbing the group's attention as the telekinetic hold on their ship also mercifully stopped. 

Eddy was standing outside of the bank, Ed still holding up his throne with his back while Edd looked in awe at the flying machine above. "Glad that got your attention, ladies." Eddy sipped on a martini, only to choke and gag at the alcohol. "GACK! My brother actually LIKED this stuff?! Must have had a tongue as strong as steel!"

"Greetings, travelers!" Edd waved. "Firstly, that is a remarkable machine you have up there!" He looked above. "A combination of nature and machinery in motion...oh, this can't be magic. They must be expert inventors instead! Anything BUT magic..." He shuddered at such an inane, if not useful, concept.

"Thanks!" Asakusa called out. "We made it ourselves! It's capable of-"

"Save it. He's playing you, Asakusa. It's common nature for creeps like them. Anyway, you know what we want!" Kanamori shouted.

"Forget her! Deal with Team Yukari! Or suffer our wrath!" Yukari said ominously, pointing at them as she turned back. "Girls! Screw the stealth approach! We're coming in hot!"

"Excuse me!" Osaka rose his hand. "Can we enter so we can have the chocolate?"

"...the what?" Eddy raised a brow. "Wait, HOLD ON! You must think all this stuff I have here is made of candy chocolate?!" Osaka nodded, thinking about just that. "This stuff is the real de-ACK!" A small explosion happened near him and the Ed throne. "What the?!"

"Warning shot." Kanamori smirked. 

"Did you just fire an invisible laser at me?! Ed! Tell 'em why that's a load of-GAH!" Ed stood up quickly, angered at such a notion, causing Eddy to fall off the throne, clutching the crown to his head.

"How dare you!? In the name of Captain Sprucenut's Adventures, I will...oh, hi, kitten-loving girl!" Ed waved to Class 3, specifically at Sakaki, who just shyly waved back. His waving was cut short when Kaorin, after only feeling slightly jealous, yelped in surprise when her weapon went off, firing a visible green laser that blew up at Ed's feet, blackening him. "That's better!" He proceeded to fall down in a stupor.

"Be CAREFUL with that! You could blow off a head with that thing!" Kagura exclaimed. "Yeesh, who thought of giving the gun to Kaorin?!"

Yukari sighed before this could escalate further. "Okay, okay...give us the crown and we don't kick your asses. Capiche?"

"Give US the crown and we don't rain lasers on your house. Nice digs, by the way. Won't look good when I reduce it to rubble." Kanamori snapped her fingers as many more units appeared in back of them through portals, all 49 more of the autonomous units.

The Eds and Class 3 weren't expecting that, especially not the three fools. "Eddy...we may be in a bigger predicament than we thought!" Edd shivered.

"Clever girl...uh, this means nothing!" Eddy stammered before getting off his throne, his microphone stand turning into a golden-domed pimp-like cane, while the rest of his outfit transformed to look more regal. Think a king's cape with the crown atop his head. "You'll have to pry this game-changer from my cold dead head! Right, guys!? TO WAR!" Nothing happened. "Guys? GUYS!? Hellooooo! Invaders at 12:00! Andele! Andele! Cry havoc and whatever?!" Again, nothing. Just awkward silence. "INGRATES!" 

"Please, come to our aid!" Edd cried out in desperation. "I fear this may very well be our Waterloo!"

"We have no underwear!" Ed called out, adding his own input. Probably not the best thing to say in front of a bunch of girls, prompting Kaorin to fire another blast to zap his head into a shriveled up lump temporarily. "Hi, Eddy!" He waved at his friend, still smoking. Just like old times.

"...this is dumb." Yukari face-palmed. "We got powers to deal with THESE clowns?!"

"Yeah, I just feel sad." Tomo admitted, while Sakaki inched herself and Chiyo away from the ashamed Kaorin, scared to death of the laser blaster she had on her arm.

"Something we agree on." Yomi adjusted her glasses. The more timid members of the group just sighed with relief that this was going to be a cake-walk. So long as they could get past the swarm on the opposite side. 

Speaking of which, Kanamori gave a small signal to just swoop in, lasers blazing. "Screw this. We're not here to watch a Three Stooges' routine." 

Sakaki, however, noticed something was off. Something was moving through the trees, knocking them down. Someone or, really, something was entering the fray as well. A hideous roar all but confirmed it for everybody else. "I knew we should have installed better radar!" Asakusa cried out. "Something big is coming! Or two...or maybe three!"

"Really? Lemme see!" Mizusaki crammed into the front, smushing the main trio together in a way that nearly made their main unit swerve, while Doumeki actually got to work making sure the turrents were situated on whatever was entering the fray.

Even the Eds weren't expecting a giant onyx-scaled lizard to crash through one of the houses (Kevin's, forcing the usually confident jock to flee in terror). The monster roared again, forked tongue in the air as he eyed the flying machines with something akin to hate. How DARE they mock him while he had to crawl about on the ground he was born on?! "Oh, yeah...monsters." Eddy remembered that ominous line. Never really got to question him about it. 

"No way!" All of Class 3 cried out (except Sakaki, who stifled a gasp). 

"They have a kaiju?!" Mizusaki exclaimed. "They're more prepared than I thought!"

"Yeah, and it's an overgrown iguana." Doumeki dismissed before Asakusa brought a finger to her lips. "Hey!"

"Komodo Dragon." She corrected. Even though she was more into mechanics and such, she knew her animal facts. "A large species of lizard that, due to its diet of rotting animal carcasses, has a bite that can spread germs and weaken prey. They may be able to stand up somewhat, but only briefly. We should be safe."

Yukari was about to give an order to just cut and run and get the crown while avoiding becoming monster chow, but a dollop of spit dropped on her head. Everybody turned to see a massive Allosaurus above them, growling as he reared up and roared a deeper sound that sent them scrambling over the hill and into the very Cul-de-sac itself, where the Komodo was situated. "We have a dinosaur, too?!" Eddy exclaimed, a wide grin on his face as the creature jumped off the hill and started to stomp towards them. 

"Coooool!" Ed exclaimed before running up to the beast. "Hello, I am Ed, supreme overlord of the bygone age! Can I ride you?" The monster proceeded to ignore him, stomping to Eddy's side.

"Sorry, Lumpy, he answers to me." The shorty said proudly. "So, Sockhead, what do we got?"

Edd was obviously stammering and sweating and ready to soil his pants from the prehistoric behemoth looming over him, but he composed himself, if just briefly. "I-I-I-If my paleontology isn't rusty...it's an Allosaurus! The apex predator of Jurassic-age America alive in modern times...it can't be magic, it CAN'T be magic!" Edd tried to tell himself, nearly angering the monster as some whispers were heard by all. 

_Gwangi...Gwangi...GWANGI..._

"I...guess that's your name." Eddy said, creeped out before pointing at Class 3, which was getting up, only to face the dripping jaws of the Komodo. "That's right, gals! You either kneel or you'll keel!" 

"Crap, that was kinda clever." Kagura growled.

"We're not scared of a bunch of rapid reptiles! Who'll protect you from THEM?" Yukari pointed to the Eizouken's flying horde, which was now primed to fire upon the two large beings...before two elongated tentacles grabbed two of them by the wings and crushed, causing them to fall down into the ground, as exploding heaps. "Okay, what now?"

"This is getting crazy!" Tomo said. "I love it!"

"Pretty lights..." Osaka gazed at the fiery remains of the pods, though the flames also caused Gwangi to take several steps back, visibly wincing. He knew of fire. He knew that it meant only death and despair. He would know well, had that portal not have saved him.

Asakusa and the others turned to see what exactly was attacking from below. It was Octaman, who's tentacles returned to their normal length as he let out a screech/roar at them, slamming his tentacles down on the ground like whips repeatedly. "That's it! No more stalling!" Kanamori rested the controls from Asakusa and locked sights upon the building. "Time is money and business...who ever said it was clean?" 

Despite the growing danger, Class 3 managed to stand up, caught between a rock and MANY hard places. "There's...there's no turning back, is there?" Chiyo shivered, especially as the two giant reptilians advanced, despite the Komodo snapping at Gwangi several times. Octaman, however, was the first to notice the fleet bearing down upon them.

"Nope! CHAAAARGE!" Yukari pointed, as all sides did just that...

_**<https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o1NNlqCjGcQ> ** _

...before invisible lasers rained from the sky, causing them all to scatter. "Flee! Flee in terror!" Edd ran, with the others following suite, Eddy clutching his crown tight before.

Even in the havoc that followed, Tomo managed to get right in Eddy's face. "Beeep!" She pinched his thin-nose. "Gotcha'! You better give me that or-" She was interrupted when the Komodo tail-slammed her right into Jimmy's house, no doubt causing the youthful one who lived there no small amount of pain when Tomo crashed into him.

"Smooth moves, big guy!" Eddy hopped on him while the thick-scaled monster took a few blasts from the fleet. "STEP ON IT!" Instead of running, he roared and started tail slapping objects at the flying machines above, missing many, but actually reducing the amount to 40 machines, as some of those objects ranged from Eddy statues to trees. "Hey! Watch the merchandise!" Suddenly, his crown was rested away from him by Yukari's power. "Hey!"

The teacher, running quickly with the others, laughed. "Ha! You're not the only one who's got an upgrade!" She was interrupted when Yomi was knocked off balance by a blast from one of the ships. In a bout of concern, she stopped to check on her. "On your feet, soldier! This is the part where we don't think, just run!"

Sakaki was panicking inside as an invisible Chiyo and a shaking Kaorin hid around her. The blasts...they could hit anywhere. Still, in her mind, she would keep them safe. Osaka, on the other hand, just looked lost as usual, the blasts and even Gwangi's bites at her phasing through. "I guess we're winning." She said as Gwangi then spotted the taller schoolgirl, roaring in her face. 

"Please, don't eat us!" Chiyo cried out as several more explosions created more dust, right as the beast lunged.

However, when the dust cleared and Kaorin had fired a blast out of panic (which struck through two more ships, reducing the number to 38), Kagura was standing before them, holding Gwangi's jaws open and pushing back against the resisting dinosaur. "I've got this, everybody!" She flashed a cocky smirk. "You go on ahead." She got a nod from her 'rival', as they fled before Kagura delivered a sucker punch against Gwangi, causing him to stumble. "Get out of here! And take a breath mint while you're at it!" A round of invisible laser blasts forced them to quit their stand-off and run in opposite directions.

With Kanamori's group, they watched as their fleet mercilessly shot at the group, making sure not to take life, but still cause a ruckus good enough for the next phase. "That's it...run all the way to mommy..." The tallest one clasped her hands, consumed by the promise of more pay before she changed to her default expression and pressed a button. "Attention, all remaining units! Get close enough to nab that thing!"

"Dive, dive, dive!" Both Asakusa and Misuzaki exclaimed together while 5 made their way towards the running Yukari. 

Back down, Class 3 found themselves beset by the smoke, dust, and explosion force caused by all of this, but worse was the Komodo Dragon chasing after them at rapid speed, ignoring most of the class just to get to the teacher. Ed was carrying Edd as he ran alongside the beast. It was taking them all the way to Rolf's farm at this point with the rate they were running. "You can't keep moving forever!" Eddy shouted, holding his cane triumphantly. "I've already one!" Indeed, the monster's jaws were snapping at even Tomo at this point, whom had simply rammed a hole through Jimmy's wall to escape.

"Hey! Wildcat!" Yukari shrieked when she felt that thing nipping at her heels. "Catch!" She threw the thing at her, to which she caught with gusto.

"Hah! Looks like I-" The fast one was interrupted when a drone managed to grab the thing in the air, four other units following. "That's cheating! No fair!"

"I don't think they care!" Chiyo cried out as a laser blast right in front of Sakaki caused both they and Kaorin to be separated and lost in the confusion. 

Octaman emerged from the smoke to ram his tentacles through the four ships, destroying them while he propelled himself to the unit carrying the crown. He smashed through the wings before being blasted in the back by the other units, singeing his back and causing him to fall, crashing into Johnny's house. "Hey, Plank! Free calamari!" The boy cried out from within. 

Before the machine went down, it managed to drop off the crown so that the main unit could grab the falling object. "Yeah! We did it!" Asakusa cried out before looking around. "You know, this would have been more exciting if there were some tall buildings to strafe through."

Misuzaki kicked back, eyes staring at the crowd gathering below. "Yeah. For what it's worth, I'm glad we could do this. Just hang out and experience a taste of the world we're making!"

"Heh. You know...I can see this working so much more than just with a dumbass crown. Mission accomplished." Kanamori smirked, in a good mood for once. Sure, she had to deal with this annoyance, but at least it was over. The other units swarmed around the main unit as it flew in one place. 

Why? Because Doumeki noticed something was off with the sound the engine was making. "Everyone, bad news! We're almost out of fuel! We can't move any further!"

"Switching to fuel-efficiency mode!" Asakusa stretched an arm to press a button, causing the thing to fly in place while the rest of the units flew around to take aim at anybody that got closer. "Nobody attempt to come any closer! Just accept that you lost and justice prevailed!"

"You call that JUSTICE?! That's ours, you stupid kid!" Yukari waved her fist, ignoring the enemy forces behind her, such as the Komodo roaring in anger. 

"It's no use. We're outgunned, fellows." Edd lamented. "Ma'am, I've been thinking of an early-war ceasefire plan and-GACK!" He was pounded in the head by the angered adult, leaving him with a massive bump.

"I kinda wanted to do that." Kagura folded her arms before looking to a rather distressed Sakaki. "What's up with you?"

"Chiyo-chan...Kaorin...where did they go?!" She asked, stressed out for their safety. It had been a while since she's been this flustered, but a now dusty Cul-de-sac where that dinosaur or that octopus thing were hiding in...or if that giant Komodo already got to them...no, she couldn't think that! She had to go back in. "I need a minute." She said before charging in.

"Uh...okay, I'll just stand here and throw CARS AT THE FREAKING THING! RIGHT ON!" She yelled as she lifted a car and threw it at the fleet, only for it to go up in smoke when the lasers all converged on it.

"Not fair." Both Eddy and Kagura said at the same time, causing them to look at each-other oddly and then turn away.

"I do believe we're at a stalemate." Yomi observed. "They either leave with the crown or keep us at bay for as long as they need to. If only there was some kind of weakness we could exploit."

"Ummm...maybe if we take down the big one? That works all the time in Tomo's video games." Osaka said. It was an odd truth that, recently, Tomo had been inviting the knuckleheads over to her house more recently. Sure, it had to be when her parents weren't around (personal reasons that we won't get into yet), but it was a fun time for all. Osaka even proved to be a rather skilled gamer, too focused in on the imaginary world to be distracted, making her utterly merciless in that regard. Bosses had it worse, hence this strategy.

That, or not having Chiyo-chan around forced at least one of these guys to think beyond 'hit somebody until you get the thing' or 'OH GOD RUN AWAY'. 

Eddy gritted his teeth, while Ed just wandered off, wondering what other monsters might have shown up. Flying machines were good, but monsters? Even better. "Who do you think you are, Ms. Piano-Bars-for-teeth?!" Eddy shook his fist. "I'm the KING of the cul-de-sac!"

"And I'm the Prime Minister. Spare me." Kanamori rested a head on her hand, chuckling a bit. "Keep doing that. You're kinda cute when you're all whiny and indignant, little man."

"GAH!" The other two original Eizouken members fell over in shock. "Did you just say 'cute'?! You never say something like that!" Asakusa exclaimed. "Imposter! Who are you and what did you do with-" Bonk! Doumeki smacked the small one upside the head.

Eddy ignored that compliment and just continued to boil inside, steam erupting from his ears. "Give that back or I'll-"

"What? Send that octopus-looking freak at us? Or the oversized house-pet? Maybe that walnut-brained dino you've got?" Kanamori taunted, staring down at her enemy. "As for the rest of you down there, you showed some pretty impressive moves, but the fact remains that those that prepare most are the winners. Those that rush in are all too easily defeated."

"Aw, shut up already!" Yukari yelled. "Back me up! We had a better plan than that!"

"No, Chiyo did. Speaking of, where is she?" Yomi asked. 

"Guys! INCOMING!" Tomo pointed to within the smoke. Apparently, somebody didn't take too kindly to that 'walnut-brain' joke..

Gwangi, eyes blazing with fury (and fear, given the fire behind him), ran up the Komodo's tail and actually propelled himself through the air, claws out and jaws open. The lasers fired, but it was too late. The Eizouken's ship found itself being weighed down by the ravaging dinosaur, causing the thing to start flying in random directions as Gwangi struggled on it, clawing apart the metal and even biting off a wing with axe-like movements of the jaws. "We're taking too much critical damage! All we can do is a controlled crash!" Asakusa yelled, despite the terror of the gnashing jaws from above.

The others looked in shock as they saw not only what the theropod had bravely pulled off, but the other ships starting to malfunction as the main one took heavy damage and flew higher upward. "Why didn't WE get a dinosaur?" Tomo asked. 

Eddy stammered as he stood proudly atop the confused Komodo. "Uh, yeah! That was my plan all along!"

"Incoming! AGAIN!" Edd shrieked as the main ship careened towards the group, making them scatter once more as the thing skidded across the ground until it fell at the base of Eddy's bank, Gwangi jumping off and leaving marks in the ground as he roared again at the wreckage. 

Even with that, Sakaki searched valiantly for Chiyo and Kaorin, moving large chunks of fallen ship to find them, in the hopes they weren't crushed or blasted. The very thoughts were enough to make her stomach lurch. The truth, however, was far worse. She gasps as she saw another monster menacing the two of them, Chiyo knowing it was fruitless to run away in this state and Karoin's gun removed due to losing the necklace that was needed for it.

Another monster had joined the fray ( **W** 's last-minute work, everyone). This one was an ACTUAL Killer Shrew pack. All three of them, except they were CGI and uglier than the spirit that had accepted Tomo. In that instant, Sakaki felt something stir within her. The loss of any fear...and a sudden surge of anger. "Leave them alone." She said coldly, capturing their attention.

"Ms. Sakaki!" They both cried out as a piece of ship nearly fell on them, causing them both to scream and making the tall schoolgirl break into a full-on run. 

The first shrew made the mistake of rushing at her, intent on sinking its fangs into a much meatier target. Alas, the already-strong girl slammed a fist into its skull, causing it to bounce against the ground before a sudden blue fireball shot out of her mouth and incinerated the beast, causing the other two, hungry as they were, to back away. Sakaki was, needless to say, surprised that she actually manged to do that and horrified that she had taken a life. "I...I killed it..." She looked at her hands. "I'm...I'm not a killer...am I?"

Her attention went back to the trapped girls, with both shrews managing to get into the wreck with them. It seemed like they were doomed after all...until not only did the wreckage suddenly get flung away, but the beasts found their tails being grabbed by another force entirely. "Away with you, spawn of the evil master of mozeralla cheese!" Ed yelled, finally showing himself after being pounded by too many falling ships. He started to swing the two shrieking beasts around and around until he let go, flinging them into the hungry maw of the Komodo Dragon, whom was looking at Eddy as he was just starting to stop cowering from the havoc.

Chiyo looked up at the dullard as she found herself and Karoin lifted up. "You...you saved our lives." She commented, with Kaorin too busy whimpering in fear. How would YOU react if you were almost devoured by a bunch of hideous lupine-like rodents of unnatural size? "So cool..."

"Yup! Safe as a little bunny on a vacuum bag!" He flashed a big smile before setting them both on the ground. "Here you go. General Ed is happy to help!" He saluted.

Sakaki hugged Chiyo close, while Kaorin huddled against her leg. "Th...thank you." She was still shaken by what just happened, but grateful to know there was at least one person here who wasn't so bad. "Please, Ed. help me stop this fight. It's the only way they can stay safe." She implored. Another thing she had to note. It was kind of a first finding a guy just a year or two older than her about her height, maybe a bit more so. 

He put a finger to his chin, actually stretching his lip as he thought before letting it flap back like binds on a window. "Okay! I, General Ed, protector of peace and butter toast and chickens, shall undo the bad breath of evil and unlock the hidden mustard that lies within!" He made a serious pose, flexing his lanky, but actually quite impressive physique (a paradox, I know). He extended a hand. "Pleased to help, uh..." It was right here that he realized he was talking to a girl. Something every boy in this damn cul-de-sac seemed to have a hard time doing...but he didn't feel like running in hormone-induced terror. No, he was somewhat wiser nowadays (keyword: somewhat) and there was something about her and that voice that was...calming.

She looked unsure of herself before accepting the hand, her soft skin contrasting with his rather crusty and hard skin. "I'm Sakaki. It's nice to meet you again." She looked down, still a bit embarrassed. It was like whatever was going on in the background wasn't even happening. "Maybe you can convince your friend that what he's doing is wrong."

Ed looked to Eddy, whom was yelling some kind of triumphant spiel at the fallen Eizouken group, which was getting out of their fallen vehicle in a defeated state, their beloved machine ruined pile of scrap and glass. "Nah, that's just Eddy." She shrugged. "If he's happy, then so am I!" He noticed Chiyo was still looking scared, causing him to stop and lean down. "Don't be like that. Just smile!" He stretched the corners of his mouth, tying them around his ears, only for the ends to snap back on his face, making it looked like he just got slapped.

Chiyo blinked for a bit, stifling a laugh. Something about this guy seemed to drain away any bad feeling. Granted, they weren't around him to know of his more...unintentional destructive tendencies whenever he was around. "Sorry, it's just...well, that did make me feel a bit better. Thanks, Ed!" She smiled, filling the big lug with a sudden urge to hug the little kid and never let got. Even Sakaki was getting the same feeling. 

"Are you her big sister?" He asked, surprising the older girl of the trio. "Then one big brother to a big sister!" He shook her hand more vigorously. To think! A fantasy flashed through Sakaki's mind! Just her, her 'little sister, Chiyo', their dog, and Maya, of course! The very thought was enough to put a huge blush on her face. "Hey, you're changing colors! Are you a chameleon too?"

"No, it's just...thanks for the compliment. I'm not her big sister, but I am her friend." She said curtly, though she couldn't stop the small smile. "You can be here friend too and...maybe mine?" 

"YUP!" Ed replied before they heard a twin 'AHEM' from both Eddy and Yukari. 

Eddy glared at his General. "What the heck do you think you're doing, lumpy?! We don't get all mushy gushy with the enemy!"

"Chiyo, you had us worried sick! Sakaki, get back here and leave that hunk of dried plywood in the dust!" Yukari shouted, while still eyeing that crown. Things had been going badly, but if they could just swing this...

Kanamori, meanwhile, shakily got to her feet, helping the others out, only to get unexpected assistance from Edd, whom grabbed a hold of Doumeki's hand, much to her surprise. "I truly do humbly apologize for the mayhem that has ensued! But might I suggest a less aggressive approach before proper negotiations can be made?"

"You still think that this can end with just a little bit of talk? At least one of us is making sense." The sound-geek replied, standing right in front of the meek one. "Tell your friend to put a leash on that thing. Although..." She got out a recorder. "If I'm getting anything out of this...can you get this closer to the dinosaur?"

As the other Eizouken members dusted themselves off, Edd looked at her like she was insane. "Gracious, what would be the point of...wait, you wish to record authentic Jurassic-era predator sounds? That's quite daring...but not without merit! Perhaps when the dust has settled, both literally and figuretively. If you come here on peaceful terms, I'm sure Eddy will grant you amnesty if there's no ill-intent...one hopes." He glared at Eddy somewhat, whom was tapping his foot impatiently, while his Komodo was making sure nobody made a move for the crown. 

Doumeki had a feeling that, if she was to truly explore the new soundscape of this alien dimension or whatever it was, she would need help from this spindly hat-wearing guy. "Not your business." She said for all to hear before she whispered a contradicting thing for only him to hear. "Meet me where it's private. I could use some help next time I come here. Do it and you can name your price." She hated working with people in general, especially new people, but it was worth the risk.

"Everybody be quiet! And you, Octo-guy or whatever your name is!" Eddy pointed to Octaman, whom stood with an unamused expression as Johnny chomped on his head repeatedly. "Just...wait for me to get the crowbar. As for all of you..." He pointed to too rapidly vanishing portals that opened up. "Oh, look! I was gonna escort you all to my dungeon, but lucky for you, it's not finished yet. I need things to make it look more scary. Y'know, chains, rats, iron maidens-"

"This isn't over!" Yukari yelled, only to collapse on the floor, her telekinetic power needing to recharge. She grumbled angrily as Kagura and Yomi picked her up. "This ain't over, half-pint...not by a long shoooot."

"You heard that ri...whoo...sleepy..." Tomo began to snore upright, her speed having gotten to her before Osaka caught her...only for her to screw up her powers and have her phase right through her, making her head land on the Komodo's tail. Suffice to say, she was running like the wind into the portal when the lizard let out another horrible roar. 

"Yeah, what he said!" Eddy commanded. As they left, Kagura cast an angry glance at Gwangi, whom just narowed his eyes at her. Both of them would not forget their first meeting, as it might not be the last. Who knew a dinosaur's eyes could carry so much feeling? Even she was wondering that for a while before thinking of a new title for herself: The Amazing Kagura-Dino Destroyer!

"Wait!" Mizusaki ran up to Yomi and gave her a DvD. "I know we're probably not going to be friends due to...well, all of this, and us shooting at you." She rubbed the back of her head. "But it's a copy of one of our animes. Take it as a...uh...consolation prize?"

"You peddle our work to the enemy and for free? That's it. God has abandoned us." Kanamori sighed, Asakusa patting her on the side as she put out a fire in her hair. 

"I know, right? Giving out stuff for free? You're crazy, girl! Go check yourself before you wreck yourself." Eddy said in somewhat mock-sympathy. "Now, SCRAM!" 

Asakusa raised a fist as she and the others headed through into her portal. "This isn't over! Mark our words! This is only the start of our perfect world giving the perfect punishment! With what we have, the possibilities are-MMPH!" She was interrupted when Kanamori literally carried her and headed off. 

"Aaaaand we're off. See you later...shorty." She gave one last insult/tease before the four left and the portal closed.

The last to leave were Sakaki and those she carried, but not before she saw Ed give one last wave. Still, she had to go, for her friends' sake...and helping Kaorin get some fresh air before she shivered herself into a total loss. "Um...bye, Mr. Ed!" Chiyo spoke for both she and her taller friend before their portal closed.

That left the Eds and the monsters among broken ships and some of the houses ruined. "Ed, she just named you after a stupid talking horse. You gonna take that or just continue to treat this like some kind of game?" Eddy scolded. 

"Aw, sorry! They were nice!" Ed whined. "Especially the tall one! Not like a Kanker at all." He waved a finger.

"Thank Kronos." Edd wiped his forehead. "Whatever the case, I do believe we have all of...this to handle and explain." He gestured to the wreckage and the minor desolation, as well as the gathered beasts.

"No, no, no. THIS...is another game-changer." Eddy said confidently, even as he noticed the other kids exit their houses. In another life, they would have come to lay the smack-down for the ruination of their lives for about an episode until things snapped back to normal for another event. Not this time. They all noticed the giant lizard, the dinosaur, and the monstrous mutant before them. All three roared, intent on serving their new master. "So...

"...how about actually helping me this time? I have a plan." The smart one was far from stupid. Edd could have told him that the girls seemed different in that they had some kind of supernatural power each (Tomo's super speed and Yukari's telekinetic power to name what they saw), but he actually raised a finger to tell the smart one to hold his tongue. "I think it's not just them that's getting an upgrade..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that should set the tone. Sorry about the time-gap between chapters. Got a lot going on.
> 
> Up Next: Everybody recovers after their session, so new plans must be drawn. However, Gwangi manages to get through the portal to where Kagura is waiting for him. Meanwhile, the student council becomes aware of what the Eizouken's been doing, complete with the arrival of a familiar giant robot that's about to lay the smack-down on one of Eddy's new monsters...The Giant Claw!


	5. The Battle over Shibihama High

_**The Jawbreaker Bank Palace...** _

Eddy clasped his hands as the Cul-De-Sac kids once again converged around his bank, all of whom looked deeply concerned and maybe a bit angry. The monsters were situated outside, waiting to hear any further orders from their master. "So...what did we learn?" He condescendingly asked them. "NEVER disobey the king! This is what it gets ya'!"

"Are you kidding me?! My house is a wreck because of your dumb lizard!" Kevin shook his fist.

"Details, details." Eddy dismissed. "Wouldn't have happened if you actually WORKED with me. I mean, c'mon! The enemy was right there, with super-powers and robot bugs!"

"For once, Eddy has a point. We were on the front lines while you failed to assist us. While I don't condone violence, what I do condone is perhaps medical help or providing supplies. Of which none of you did when actual danger came." Edd nodded.

"And you didn't bring snacks!" Ed crossed his arms, huffing grumpily.

Eddy slammed his scepter down. "So...which one of you has a complaint now? We're the only ones that can protect you, but you're gonna have to put in some elbow grease if we're gonna live life on the free and easy."

Rolf was the first to speak up. "Rolf suggests that we all unite to ward off these accurses outsiders! They ruined Rolf's farm and feed their livestock to the great lizard of woe!" He referred to the sleeping Komodo Dragon outside. "You have Rolf's radish, Ed-boy."

The self-proclaimed king rubbed his hands at that news. "Excellent. Anyone else?"

Jimmy raised his hand. "If we help...can you make sure no scary girls break into my house? That one was wilder than a cat on coffee!"

"Ji...Jimmy?! Really? We're throwing our hats in with HIM?!" Sarah pointed to the grinning Eddy. "Hmph. But I'm only doing this for me."

"That makes all of us." Nazz rolled her eyes. "You said how all of us don't really have to fight, but just help?" Edd nodded. "Then I guess I'll just get out my cheerleader outfit. Happy now?"

"Ooh! Ooh! Do the Yanky Doodle!" Ed suggested, bouncing up and down, earning a groan from everyone.

Kevin, seeing how Nazz was going to join in such a way, face-palmed. "What Sarah said. Just don't expect me to get into this. I mean, how hard could fighting a bunch of girls be?"

"What's that supposed to mean?!" Both Sarah and Nazz narrowed their eyes at the jock, making him quite sheepish.

"Do we get more free calamari?" Johnny asked, earning an annoyed roar from Octaman outside.

"For the last time, he's not food! He's one of my enforcers!" Eddy yelled. "But in any case, yeah. I can handle that. I think that's it, boys! But that's not all."

"Indeed!" Edd smiled, happy they could get to this part. With a random chalkboard, he showed off several blueprints. "Regrettably, I had to receive the assistance of the ever-enigmatic **W** , but, aside from the STILL made-up practice of magic, he has proven to have a scientific mind. Therefore, he has assisted me in giving us adequate defense and offense capabilities with the suits that came out of it all."

"We're going to be superheroes too?" Ed asked before his eyes widened at the designs. "Are those...our old Space Ranger armors?!"

"What? That stupid game you guys played?" Sarah raised a brow. "I'm not wearing a garbage can on my head!"

"Settle down, please." Edd motioned. "Ed's right. Our armor designs were taken from a past venture, but they've been modified to actually be used in warfare. Eddy, your suit has access to a special yo-yo like weapon that can reach great distances. You're also equipped with an electromagnetic pulse bomb. In plain English, a bomb that unleashes volts of searing electricity, enough to knock out a group of enemies."

"I knew I could rely on you, sockhead." Eddy smirked, flipping his scepter around idly in a hand. "What did you get?"

"I'm glad you asked. I don't like getting my hands dirty, of course, so I devised a slingshot-like weapon that fires a concussive blast meant to apply distant physical damage rather than vaporize." Edd continued to explain. "In the event that I'm forced to fend off hopefully non-sapient lifeforms, I have a specialized laser-bat."

"You mean a lightsaber, dork?" Kevin would be lying if he said he wasn't intrigued.

"No. Laser-bat. A brute-weapon applied with integrated shockwave technology." The smart one turned to the increasingly excited Ed. "As for you, your helmet has been outfitted with the strongest materials of our disposal. Any hit will spell pain and an instant knock-out. In summary, you are our tank."

"I will crush all the forces of evil, Double-D!" Ed saluted, hitting himself in the head again.

"What about us?!" Johnny pointed out.

Edd clasped his hands in sympathy. "Still in production, but, seeing as how we're apparently the only three mad enough to go straight into turmoil, I thought it would be best to showcase our suits first before I move onto other prototypes. Remember. There is no shame in seeking improvements. Sure, it might...damage my pride as one of the dual inventors of them, but...worth the risk." He sighed.

"There you have it, folks! You continue to do what we say, and you'll be safe and sound. But if you don't, don't come crying to me." Eddy dangerously said before going back to smiling. "I have so many ideas right now! Dungeons, rubbing it in my brother's face, everything!"

Suddenly, **W** materialized in the center, surprising everybody. "King Eddy! I bring urgent news!"

"GAH! Knock first!" Eddy yelled. "What?!"

"It is those of the so-called Eizouken group! We must mount a discouraging attack! They have created a new weapon and only your new armory and a new monster can stop them!"

As he said that warning, one of the monsters had moved to investigate a sudden portal. Gwangi, having not much better to do, entered it, as his allegiances to Eddy were...soft at best. Unlike the Komodo Dragon, he was independent! Not some servant! Only he and Octaman really shared this sentiment, despite each-other not exactly on speaking terms (remember...monsters.)

_**Outside of Class 3...** _

Hiding within the trees, Gwangi exited out the portal. Remembering how well the last time he blindly rampaged in public went, he stayed in place, watching the various students walk around. Had they only known of the saurian monster hiding, as if waiting for one to stray too far from the herd. He stalked through the woods, but it seemed like everybody was oblivious to the prehistoric super-predator lurking among them.

That's when his eyes laid squarely on one particular student. The brown-skinned one...or, as we know her as, Kagura. She was looking a training dummy dead in the eye, which was easy to do due to it being break. "Alright...ready, girls?" She asked Osaka and Tomo.

"Alright! Let's see it! This will impress Yukari to send us there on our own!" Tomo gave a thumbs-up.

"I dunno. Those guys seem mighty tough." Osaka said as she idly phased her hand through the wall (scaring a different class that way).

"Mighty stupid, is more like it! C'mon. They're as dumb as the monsters they keep with them. As we know, lizards and dinosaurs are super-dumb and that squid-guy deserves to be reduced to tasty Octopus balls from your home country." She explained. Gwangi's toes dug into the ground and he gave a snarl at that line. 

"Yeah, well, they're pretty tenacious. Especially the dinosaur." Kagura clenched her fists. "Which is why, next I meet him, I'm gonna give him a few moves I learned back in grade-school. You see, I'm not just an athlete. I'm a fighter!"

"Aren't those the same thing?" Osaka asked.

"Eh...I guess I have experience in all forms of exercise, but this one's a hidden favorite of mine. Watch closely! You might learn something." With that, the sporty one quickly raised a leg high into the air and brought it down on the dummy, nearly shattering its head. Even Gwangi had to wince at that. That could have been him if she wanted to. 

"Wow! Cool! I think Yomi almost did that whens he was really mad." Tomo said in an unintentionally dreamy tone.

"Huh?" Even thick-headed Kagura noticed. "What was up with your tone there?"

"It sounds like you have a small girl-crush." Osaka said innocently, causing Tomo to let out a high-pitched shocked sound that hurt the hidden dino's ears.

"Whaaaa?! Puh-lease! Who do you think I am? Kaorin?" The wildcat brushed it off, despite an edge of nervousness in her voice.

"I don't know. You did say how you spent all of your school years with her." Kagura smirked. "Not to mention, you two are practically joined at the hip, despite it being as stable as a raging wasp hive."

"Oh, yeah?! How would you like it if I said you had a huge crush on Sakaki because of all those times you tried to one-up or hang out with her?!" Tomo countered.

The athlete just stretched, gearing for a few more blows against the dummy. "Pretty much." That floored both of the other girls. "I'm bi, okay? It's either really tough guys or girls with some power behind them. With Sakaki? I dunno if she's interested in any kind of relationship. She's a great friend, but she can be so clueless sometimes. Remember how I had to tell her it was okay to defend herself once in a while? I swear, she lets those cats walk all over her."

"You mean...you can like both boys AND girls?" Osaka sounded mystified. "I always wondered if that was a rumor, but...is it true there are millions of genders, if that's the truth?"

Tomo felt sweat drop from her head from just that. "Different thing, Osaka! We're talking sexuality, y'know." She suddenly got close to her ear. "Try to keep that Tumblr-stuff down. We might get bombarded by a bunch of angry internet-goers." Osaka nodded, though she didn't really get it.

And so, Kagura continued to train her body, with Gwangi watching from the shadows. However, rather than just attack while she was distracted, he began to become...intrigued by the way she moved. The power behind those blows. The sweat glistening off of her tanned skin. It was enough to put him into a trance. More than that, he felt slightly jealous. How could this two-legged creature prove more adept than he? But then again. No two-legged one could do this. Only ride atop four-legged prey or use the dreaded weapon of fire.

The Allosaurus turned to see a barren tree stump that was large enough to function as a dummy like hers. Looking to her style and himself, he began to try and mimic the human. First, he got into the pose she was taking, putting one leg behind him to the best of his effort. Leaning down, he suddenly sprung up and extended his foot, kicking the stump in mid-air, but falling down on his back. The wind and rustling of leaves cancelled out any revealing noises made.

Despite that, he began to try again and again until he actually managed to land on his feet by using his frontal body lunging forward to get him back into position. Invigorated, he began to exercise his arms as well, doing push-ups and graduating from using his hands to help with that to just his claw-tips. When she started lifting weights, he not only lifted a fallen tree trunk with his head, but a lot of rocks with his claws and tail, moving from one end of the woods to the other.

Back with Kagura, she gave the two girls a smirk before she flung the dummy into the air. "Powers, don't fail me now!" With that, she jumped up, bounding with her super-powered strength to kick the dummy in half...only to find Gwangi doing the same in mid-air beside her, smashing two trunks with his tail and foot. The two landed, back to back. 

"...you again?" Kagura panted as Tomo stammered in shock and Osaka just phased through the wall to escape, expression unchanging.

"Come back here, you coward!" Tomo commanded before Gwangi snorted in front of them, tuckered out like the human behind him. Turning away from the wildcat, he faced the sweaty athlete, getting his snout into her face and snorting again.

She just put her hands on her hips and slammed her head against his snout, yet he did not move. "Couldn't resist mucking things up on my turf, huh?! Well, if you wanna throw-down, just make one wrong move!" However, she remembered how exactly he pulled a stunt like that off. "Were you...spying on me?!" 

Gwangi lifted his head and let out a snarl, as if challenging her. Tomo suddenly zoomed between-them. "Hey, big guy! Guess you're just as competitive as Kagura here. Guess what? She's not stupid like you are!" She stuck her tongue out at him before zooming away, screaming like a banshee due to realizing just how dumb that decision was to taunt the taller killing machine.

Instead of following, the Allosaurus shook his head, figuring she wasn't worth it. His legs were beyond tired, after all. Instead, he stomped his foot and then his tail, marking the spot with the cracks. "So...you wanna go one-on-one someday? You're not as dumb as you look." She still got a snarl for that, but it was less pronounced. "Heard you had a name. That wizard guy that's been going around here called you Gwangi or something." She pointed at him, making him back away a bit. "The name's Kagura and I'll be the one to beat you, powers or not!"

As if giving confirmation, Gwangi roared, causing the school to panic at such a terrifying noise. With that, he ran off until he found a portal along the way that would send him back. "Huh. What a weird dino. If he really was copying my techniques...and in such short time...he could be even more challenging. Why's that so...exciting?"

**_Meanwhile at the Eizouken Base..._ **

Kanamori and her companions dreaded this moment. A moment they didn't even think would come to pass, given how covert this whole fight's been. Maybe that incident with the jeep would have caused it, but apparently not. Instead, it was brought about by none other than **W** himself. And what was this event that they so dreaded?

"Ms. Kanamori...is any of what this being said true?" Sowande asked, the rest of the Student Council behind her and just as unnerved by the floating wizard in the base.

"I don't even know what's real anymore! The man is floating without...lemme see..." Kyu tried to look under **W** 's robes, only to scream and go back to standing, stiff as a board. "I have seen things that should not be witnessed..."

Kanamori sighed, but she was assured that everything was in the clear, given the obviously supernatural being keeping them on their toes. "Yep. There's this thing that got stolen from us and this man's just here to help. Nothing to see here."

"Nothing to see?!" Toru exclaimed. "You're working with a being that told us you're engaging in battle with beings from other universes! This had better just be another stunt for one of your animes or we just might shut this whole thing down and quarantine it for good measure!"

"You can't do that! We have an important job to do if we're to defend our school!" Asakusa argued, having grown more accustomed to the arrivals of this nigh-omnipotent council. "Didn't he tell you about the thieves?"

"Didn't we technically steal from the-" Mizusaki was silenced with a shush from Kanamori. 

"So, from what we can gather..." Sowande began. "Beings from other universes are seeking out a component to your club's success and is using excessive means of gaining it." She rubbed her temples. "And magic is apparently real. Let's keep this off the record so this doesn't give us bureaucratic nonsense."

"Amen." The other council members (except the perpetually silent Toshiya) joined in.

Doumeki was doing her best to keep it together as the ever-dangerous **W** was in the room once more. "Alright. What do you want this time? Do you have a method that won't blow up in our face?"

The mystical being chuckled. "My good ma'am, I do not offer just offensive resources today. In light of the recent incident, I propose we bring to life another creation of yours! I did watch your first real anime film, after all..."

"You did?!" Asakusa jumped up to face him. "If that's true...are you thinking what I'm thinking?" She turned to everybody. "Starting now, we bring to life our finest creation!"

Kanamori had a feeling she knew what she was talking about, muttering to herself about how she was going to have to call upon another favor from a certain overzealous club. But then Mizusaki interuppted. "Does it involves us getting super-powers? Because, when I saw that the others had them, I...got jealous. Remember how I wanted to be able to fire an energy blast from my hands?" She turned to **W**. "Can you do that? Please?"

He just crossed his arms and laughed. "Don't be silly! I like to keep things varied! In fact, I bet one of them already has energy-related powers. It would be repetition if there were two girls with powers like that clashing." Needless to say, the model was rather crestfallen, but she kept it to herself.

"This isn't a game!" Toru argued. "If any of these invaders does anything drastic, think of the damage it could incur! You already told us they have access to giant monsters! While we may not suffer collateral damage like I thought we would, lives could still be lost!"

"That's a legitimate concern. We need to figure out a way to defend our properties and students without causing an incident." Sowande sat back against a wall. "So...what do you propose?"

Kanamori pointed to the woods. "If we're lucky, they'll appear in the same spot as they did. We can't avoid there being some commotion, but it'll be enough to stop something extremely regrettable." A smirk slowly grew on her face. "Of course, if we're going to continue bearing the brunt of it all, we might need some extra funds."

"Grrr, she's doing her thing again." Kyo narrowed her gaze. "Always trying to sucker more money out of our establishment, aren't you?"

"No, she may have a point. But not in the way she thinks." Sowande said. "We'll only send you funds if there is any damage done to this very club, if we are pleased with your results."

It wasn't as good a deal as the greedy one imagined, but it was a start. "Whatever. Just know that they could attack at any moment."

"And they could bring an actual monster to wreak havoc! Leaving us..." Mizusaki had a feeling that a dramatic pause was needed, confusing everybody, especially Doumeki, whom just wanted this farce/plan over with.

Asakusa, thankfully, filled in. "...with the need to bring Talos from the screen into reality! Who's ready to get in the robot?!"

Surprisingly, it was Mizusaki who gave a derivative response. "An Evangelion reference? That anime is too dark for its own good."

**_Back at the Cul-De-Sac..._ **

Eddy flexed his new armor before everybody in front of the Jawbreaker Bank Palace. "Check out these new rims! You wish your look was as good as mine!"

On que, Edd ran out. "Eddy, I understand your narcissism is still normal as of now, but shouldn't we be focusing on how the residents of that first universe we went to are plotting an attack? Shouldn't we be concerned that they have yet another possible technological masterpiece?" 

The greedy one just scoffed. "Sockhead, think for a sec. We've got **W** on our side. Whatever they make, we do better. Right, Ed?"

The dullard flopped in before saluting. "Space Ranger General Ed, reporting for duty!" After he said that, he suddenly looked very dramatic. "The defenders of their home planet prepared for the terror of the machines, their circuits primed to put them the deepest of freezes."

"Yep. We dialed him up to eleven for sure." Eddy sighed, with Edd placing his fingers at his temples.

"Hey, dorks! You got a plan or what?" Kevin asked, still wondering when he was going to get his own set of powered armor. 

"Where we're going, we don't need...plans." Eddy smirked.

"Incorrect AND correct, my friend." **W** floated beside them. "There is a weapon we'll be using against your foes. Use it well and victory shall be yours." He raised his staff up. "Dark powers from a forbidden realm! I call upon you to send us a powerful beast! One that eclipses the current ones we have! I ask upon you...bring us something that flies! An omen of death from the stars! A bird as big as a battleship!"

"Wait, what? I hate birds, guy." Eddy reminded him before a rip in space/time appeared over the sky. 

"Good heavens! What are you doing!?" Edd cried out as the other kids trembled.

"Rolf does not trust such words! They perhaps bring back memories of the forbidden one that Rolf's people spoke of. A lanky fellow from a land of sand and chaos..." The Shepard described. 

"No time for that! LOOK!" Johnny pointed at the massive shape emerging from the rip. The Komodo and recently arrived Gwangi looked and roared in defiance while Octaman waved his arms in vain.

The Eds stuck close together, ready for whatever abomination would serve them this time. "Wait...I remember this guy!" Ed exclaimed. "Look out! It really is a flying battleship that us Space Rangers call upon!"

As if to prove him right, the monster emerged. "BRAAAK BRAAK! BRAAAAAEEKRK! BRAK BRAK! BRAAAK!" An cross between looking menacing with those gigantic claws and razor sharp teeth, as well as stupid with that muppet-like face, the alien vulture-like creature dubbed La Carcagne had come, flying around the Cul-De-Sac.

"That's the ugliest bird I've ever seen!" Sarah retched.

"I'm never going bird-watching again!" Jimmy wailed.

"GAH! The Great Turkey of Despair has arrived! Flee! FLEE TO AVOID ITS TERRIBLE WRATH!" Rolf proclaimed, grabbing everyone in a ball before slamming them in the nearest house he could.

The Eds just ignored them as the beast clumsily landed, extending her neck so they could climb aboard. "Okay...maybe I'll hate birds a little less if this actually works. Seriously, though. Why couldn't we have gotten something that doesn't look like...that?!" Eddy exclaimed.

"You know what they say, Eddy...beggars cannot be choosers." Edd nervously got aboard the massive creature. "Wait...something feels off about this thing."

"It is a thing of evil...but General Ed must tame it to stop the invaders from another dimension!" Ed proclaimed before leaping onto the monster, causing her to let out a squawk of pain and activate her anti-matter shield, annihilating a good section of objects around her. 

"Egad! Did you see that, fellows?" Edd just got a bunch of confused looks. "You couldn't see it, but the effects were there! Show some intellectual curiosity! This avian was able to generate a sort of shield that cancels out anything around it."

"To make a long summary short, an anti-matter shield in which nothing can penetrate it!" **W** said as he pointed to a portal in the sky. "Now is your chance to strike first! Go forth! And spread chaos in your wake to show them what you are made of!" 

"Don't have to tell me twice!" Eddy laughed. "Let's go, bird-brain!"

"Eddy! We should keep this at just telling them not to attack! Not engage in terrorism!" Edd yelled. "That's what they'll call it! TERRORISM!" 

"Terrorism, shmerrorism. As long as I get what I want. Peace and quiet from these losers!" The greedy one argued, keeping his crown atop his head still. "Let's get 'em!"

"I like chickens, but this isn't one of them." Ed looked to the screen as they went through the portal. "Don't think I fell off the turnip truck yesterday. No, the turnips pushed me..."

_**Later at Shibihama High...** _

It didn't take too long for a portal to open up over the woods. Not in them. OVER. Whatever was coming out the other end had to be dangerous if it was opening up that widely. "Is everybody ready?!" Kanamori yelled to her compatriots. 

Asakusa pot on her communications device, with Mizusaki putting on a tasteful black plugsuit. "Right!" They both called out.

"Good. It seems that **W** character was right about an impending invasion." Sowande narrowed her gaze. "I hope your plan ensures they don't get far. I've worked for too long to keep Shibihama High in order, but I'll be a monkey's aunt if I let it fall because of three egotistical morons. It's like an inverse of you three, honestly."

That put the three at unease. "Huh." Asakusa put a finger to her chin. "She's right. I guess I'm the Ed of the bunch, but I'm not stupid! Or obsessed with monster movies, for that matter. We do have big imaginations, but I can actually use it!"

"And that makes me the Double-D. I could say I'm a bit more reasonable, but something about him feels kind of...neurotic. I don't know. Kind of got that vibe from him when he came." Mizusaki supposed before pointing at Parker Doumeki, whom had made those comms-devices by her own design (and, regrettably, with **W** 's magical assistance). "You might actually be the Double-D!"

"What? Don't compare me to those guys, alright?" She retorted. "I mean, we both like a little bit of order in our lives. Maybe some peace and quiet. He's also not as impulsive...okay, maybe there are a few things, but that's not relevant!" She peered into the swirling mass above. "Still...this is fascinating...it's like...the portal's singing..." She would note this for later.

"And that leaves me as the Eddy of the bunch." Kanamori rolled her eyes. "I'll say this. We may both appreciate the value of the only useful thing in the world, but I can pull it off without looking like a huge fool..." She gave a chuckle. "I suppose he can do it and actually amuse, but it'll be a cold day in Hell before I let that happen to me."

"Are you four done?" Sowande pointed to the portal again, a hideous sound emanating from it. "Because I think the time for games is over!"

_**<https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nfSrZU40tfU> ** _

Before they could react properly, a hideous bird-kaiju emerged from the portal, the three Eds atop it. They seemed oddly dressed, but that was nothing compared to the winds being generated from those wings, pushing everybody back as the monster flew over our heroes, blotting out the sun at some points. Some Japanese citizens from afar either heard or saw the thing, but they did their best to ignore it...as long as it didn't get too close to the city.

"Hey, jerks!" Eddy yelled from a megaphone. "This is your final warning, so listen up! You come wide with my Cul-De-Sac and I'll sic this buzzard on your entire fortress or wherever you hang out at! This is what you get for messing with the king!" 

"He only asks for no unexpected actions against our home! Please forget this rivalry in peace!" Edd called out. "I fear that we may not be able to control this thing as well as we think!" Ed just kept his tongue out like a dog out of a car window, enjoying the breeze as they flew through the air, circling around their foes. 

Asakusa stomped her foot and pointed up. "Can it, nimrods! We know you're just trying to put our guards down so you can invade us with little resistance! Not gonna happen!" 

"So stiff..." Mizusaki noticed the wing-beats of La Carcagne were slow, despite how face it was going through the skies. That's when she stood up straight and ran away. "I'll be right back with Talos! Wish me luck!"

"Sure thing! We're right behind you!" Normally, Asakusa and company would join their friend, but alas. Other pilots wanted to join. You'll soon see why in a moment. For now, enjoy the assault of the Giant Claw herself!

Doumeki was already in her own Hell right now. The obnoxious noises the beast was letting out were getting on her nerves. "I think I'm gonna hurl...somebody get Talos out already..."

"I'll try to keep the peace! For once, I'm having my utmost faith in you girls!" Sowande exclaimed, getting a nod from Kanamori. "Perhaps you could distract it with your obnoxious personality?"

"Heh. With pleasure." Kanamori smirked before pointing to the riding Eds. "Asakusa, join me. Hey, shorty. You wanna actually face me or are you gonna keep yourselves in the safety of your over-glorified chicken?"

"It looks like a badly done puppet! Not very becoming of a 'king', is it?!" Her smaller friend joined in before elbowing Doumeki. "Don't you wanna join in?"

"Ugh, fine. Your mother was an angry hamster and your dad smelled like cheap sake! How's that?" The dark-skinned one turned to her contemporaries.

Eddy gritted his teeth a bit, but he then smirked and, pressing a button on his chest-piece, teleported right in front of the duo, surprising them. "As a matter of fact...I think I'm ready to lay down the hammer. Or, really, my laser-whip!" He whipped out (LAUGH) his yo-yo-like device, spinning it around and singing the grass around him. "How do you like that?" As he posed, he got socked in the face by Kanamori.

"Wow. Just like every anime villain who makes a big show of their stuff." Asakusa said in slight sympathy before Eddy got back up, a furious look on his face.

"Cheap trick! But you just sealed your-" A rumbling caused him to lose his balance and gain La Carcagne's attention. "What was that?"

Kanamori smiled as she leaned down to his level. "Our trump card. Did you know what we have a robot club at our school? One that's been in business since the 19th century? I though it was only slightly interesting, but now...looks like it bore some more fruit apart from just our anime."

"And Mizusaki is the pilot...along with the rest of the Robot Club." Asakusa joined in as something began to emerge from a portal in the ground. Steam erupted from it as whatever was in there started to launch. 

Doumeki wasn't prepared for the resulting weapon to be THIS big. "Maybe we CAN pull off a lot with this magic-thing."

Eddy stammered as he backed away. "You guys have a robot?! That...that means nothing! We have an invisible shield on our bird! She's as big as a battleship, for crying out loud!"

"Let's test that theory." Kanamori laid against a tree as the mighty machine landed on the ground, rising up and blowing the steam away as it did. This...was Talos. What looked like a blue/white/orange toy robot with no mouth and wide mirror-like eyes (and a camera on the head) also was equipped with a double-pronged wrist chainsaw and a drill/pile-driver scissor-hand combo arm. It was as large as a house and ready to take on the comparatively bigger alien bird. 

"It's...beautiful..." Asakusa's attention was totally on the battle ahead, both foes looking each-other in the eye.

Mizusaki, meanwhile, mounted her controls, joined by Ono and Kobayashi. The other two members of the robot club were filming the whole thing from a distance. "This...this is it! My dream realized!" Ono was so happy, he didn't care about the copious amount of snot and tears running down his face. 

"I can hardly believe it too..." Kobayashi agreed before getting another good look at the horror they were up against. "What IS that thing?! It looks like some kind of...flying battleship?"

"Doesn't look like one to me." Mizusaki put on her game face as she made sure the robot got into the right pose. "Let's do this! For our school! For our anime! For us all!"

"BRING OUT THE THEME MUSIC!" Ono triumphantly cried out before a different tune filled their speakers.

"Techno?" Doumeki raised a brow. "Swore I heard jazz and then rock from where our foes came from."

Eddy smirked as he felt his brand of music play...kinda. "Not my jam, but I'll get used to it. For now, PREPARE TO BECOME SCRAP, LOSERS!" He yelled, teleporting atop the monster's head as she dove forth to attack at last.

_**<https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2duakJ78pa8> ** _

"Incoming from the right!" Kobayashi yelled in panic, forcing Mizusaki to actually control the damn thing. Thankfully, years of watching animes like this helped her in controlling the mech, making Talos jump away before the giant bird could lay down a claw. However, Eddy teleported to Talos' shoulder in the attack.

With that, he threw his electromagnetic bombs, causing the head to be filled with volts corrupting the systems. "Something's wrong!" Ono shouted as Talos struggled to get himself together, only to be knocked onto his stomach by another dive. Eddy teleported just in time to float atop the monster's head.

"I must say, Eddy. You showed some guile there." Edd admitted. 

"What can I say? I'm awesome." Eddy crossed his arms before throwing his yo-yo far enough to wrap around Talos' head, slingshoting La Carcagne towards the machine. Her claws dug into the robot's chest, with both arms/weapons slamming at the anti-matter shield to no avail. In fact, his arms were damaged each time they attempted to make a move against her, the anti-matter doing its work.

"This...could be a problem." Kanamori admitted as Asakusa and Doumeki watched the battle with baited breath. "Maybe that shorty knows what he's doing after all. Almost admirable..."

The monster dragged the robot into the skies, lifting him over the woods and towards the city. Civilians fled in absolute terror as the robot was soon dropped on a building under construction, smashing it up as the alien beast perched atop the highest tower, spreading her wings wide as she continued to make those horrible noises. "Will SOMEBODY shut her up?!" Doumeki cried out. "Also, I don't think our scuffle's a secret anymore..."

Indeed, the military was already mobilizing to fire the creature off the building, but the ammo just fried and fizzled in that anti-matter shield. "AHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAA! BOW TO KING EDDY!" The greedy out belted out as Edd held for cover. Even Ed was unnerved by such dialogue. And to use a terrifying beast from one the movies he saw! Secretly, he prayed that the robot would find a way to put this flying battleship down. 

"And there he goes. We're officially assets to terrorism, Ed." Edd despaired. "At least mother and father aren't here to see this."

However, Talos got right back up and stuck his chainsaw into the ground. "Remember this from our anime? Let's see if it works!" Mizusaki said before gunning the engine. "Remember! It's not the robot that saves the day! Hear this, you three!" She put on her speakers. "It won't be our robot that defeats you, but the human spirit working behind it and even out of it that drives it forth against your demon!"

Eddy just laughed before teleported and preparing another bomb. "Awful brave talk coming from a los-" He was interrupted when Talos' jet propulsion systems went on full-blast, the chainsaw further propelling the mech through the ground. "WAAAAAAA! SOMEBODY CATCH ME!" He clung for dear life as La Carcagne dived, nearly hitting the ground before rushing towards the robot, her wings tearing through any tall building windows. The ground below her was turned into the center of a windstorm, forcing people to hold onto something.

As her claws extended and the robot drew closer, Ona and Kobayashi pressed a button simultaneously. "Mega..."

"...pile-driver!" Mizusaki finished, the scissor-hand extending, only for the pile-driver nail function to turn on the moment the anti-matter shield was activated. The two collided, the impact creating bolts of lightning that struck the ground, creating cracks in the roads and making the cramped city a rather tough place to be living in while a battle was going on. 

In that, Eddy managed to teleport back to the monster's head and he started chucking bombs. "There's no way I'm losing to you! NEVER!" The anti-matter shield found itself fighting against the drill-bit colliding against it multiple times. 

"It's no use. That robot's drill will eventually disintegrate within the shield! Nothing except for advanced physics can stop this shield!" Edd explained. 

"But it's so...cooool..." Ed watched the display with a mesmerized expression.

Despite the heat of it being unbearable and the bird pushing the robot back, Mizusaki never gave up. She kept increasing the power of the drill, nearly shattering it as it managed to actually survive the shield's power, but the clashing effects were making the shield harden into visibility. With a final scream of determination, the pilot made Talos bring that drill-bit arm back and, the moment the alien bird lunged, she slammed it back down...the scissors were destroyed with the drill-bit.

"Game...over..." Eddy smirked...before the robot crashed into the bird, pushing the large avian across the ground before Talos removed the chainsaw from it and actually started to propel the alien monster up into the sky, his one good hand grabbing La Carcagne by the neck. "WHAT THE?!"

"That's impossible! Inconceivable! It defies all the laws of physics!" Edd screamed in disbelief as the Eds held on for dear life. 

"I think I'm gonna puke!" Ed held his mouth. Edd was thankful to not be under him due to that. 

"Remember! NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE HUMAN SPIRIT!" Mizusaki yelled as she was joined by the other pilots in letting out a final scream that led to Talos throwing the beast forward and unleashing a new power. A pair of eye beams that went right through the alien titan. She let out one last "BRAK!" before she started to fall from the sky. The Eds lost their grip, falling alongside her into the sea.

"Sorry, guys! But I gotta-" Before Eddy could teleport away, he realized he was out of power. "Oh, no! NOOOOO!" He let that out before all four hit the water, creating a massive splash that thankfully was far away enough for it not to be an issue, especially when the rocks at the shore absorbed most of the blow. 

As Shibihama attempted to make sense of what just happened, Talos landed in the woods, but not before **W** himself appeared over the city and fired a blast that consumed all of the place. "Nothing to see here! The show hasn't begun just yet!" With that, everybody forgot what just happened and went about their normal lives, though the damages left behind by the battle had to attributed to natural causes...somehow.

For our heroes, Mizusaki stepped out of the opening chest compartment of Talos and waved to her friends, despite looking a bit frazzled like her two teammates. "I did it, everyone! I think we won! You could say I SUNK their battleship!" She giggled at her joke before pumping a fist in the air, thinking about one of her favorite anime heroes. All that was missing was a drill behind her. 

"Yeah! Way to go! I knew she could do it!" Asakusa jumped for joy. 

"Alright. I'll come clean. You done good out there. You always do find new ways to impress me." Kanamori said before she had a concerned look on her face. "But the crown..."

 **W** suddenly appeared behind her. "Is very much safe. This will not be the last we have seen of Eddy. That I can assure."

Doumeki looked like she just took a chill pill. "Yes...the noise is gone...the pain is gone...sweet release..."

"Let her have this. Even I thought that damn thing needed to shut up." Kanamori crossed her arms. 

As Misusaki waved, she was suddenly hugged by Ona. "You truly are a miracle! My dream! Fulfilled! I must have died and gone to Heaven!"

He was summarily pulled off by Kobayashi. "He'll be at this for a while. Best to settle in."

Oh, and what about the Eds? With them, they watched as the claw of their beast sunk beneath the waves. "Ah, don't be like that Eddy! The evil chicken is finally gone! Now, only the Space Rangers can continue the battle with honor and-"

"Shut up! Just shut up already!" Eddy growled. "Sure, I still have this thing..." He clutched his crown. "But I could have won! They beat me with a stupid cheesy kid's toy! I could have been ruling over their place like my own! I had a flying battleshi-" He was smacked with a fish by Edd, of all people. "...Sockhead...what did you just-"

"Will you PLEASE stop calling it that?! Be glad that I think **W** did us a favor and made everybody forget our involvement. Otherwise...well, I don't believe in even the concept of near-homicide, but I'd come close!" The smart one glared.

Even Eddy knew better than to press him with a look like that. "Yeah. Sure. Let's be glad for small favors." He huffed before a portal appeared. "Prepare my royal shower. I need to let off some steam."

"Cue 'The End' and add question mark later!" Ed told the screen, remembering the monster's death as he did before. Almost made a guy like him suspicious of what kind of similar fate would befall any further monsters...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Been a while, but that's the way of things! Still, hopefully, this didn't come off as rushed.
> 
> Anyway, next time, Edd and Doumeki have a private moment as the Eizouken group decides to clash their robot against insurmountable odds! At the same time, Sakaki tries to master her powers, only to receive an unexpected ally while doing so. Also, Kaorin's jealousy starts to rise because of that, but Chihiro might help in ways that she wasn't counting on.


End file.
